A
female
age
51-59,
*ockfoot999
writes:Hello there. I really appreciate your listening as well as your advice. Its kind of a doozy. But I will keep it as short as possible. My bf and I broke up about 8 years ago. Mainly, because we were young and he was embarking on a career that would land him around the world. He would later end up locating about 45 minutes north of where I live today. In the last 8 years, he married a woman so he could stay in the country for business ( he is from France) - The wife a few weeks into the marriage ended up making up quite the lie about me harassing her - which was completely untrue - but caused any remaining relationship between my ex and I too be quite strained and almost completely dissolved. I later proved she had made the whole story up. So - as of a few weeks ago I all of a sudden could feel him around me if you will. It was just weird, he was seriously on my mind, random people were asking me about him, I thought I saw him places, all rareites in my day to day - it almost felt as if he was tugging at my shirt. So about a week later I learned that he is divorcing his wife. I would like to contact him, seeing as he seems to be trying to contact me in an indirect way. The only problem with that is that I feel I am probably the last person he can talk too about this as he probably thinks I would be quite smug about the whole thing. Which is untrue, I feel for him and would like to be there for him, I am not really interested in persuing anything romantically with him because of him rebounding from a divorce... Would you contact him? Tell him the truth that he has been on my mind? Send a well wish that I hope hes doing okay? Thanks for the advice.
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female
reader, Jolin  +, writes (10 August 2009):
 well, if i were you i prefer to play safe.Since he's in the divorce process, i'd better stay away from it.He may be not stable this time, in terms of emotion. If i were you, even if he says that he still loves me, is interested at me..it's quietly hard to believe..since he's in the hard situation. He may change his mind if everything is already normal, and he can think clearly.if he wants to talk on the phone, i will talk...but just talk as a friend. But to initiate a communication...hmmmm... i will not.
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