A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have a cousin who's coming up for 2 year's old ill call him Jim. Like any cousins me and Jim have a really close relotionship hes a lovely little boy and i love him to peices. His mum (my aunt) brings him and his older sister (ill call her Emma) round every saturday as we agree to look after them because her and her husband have to go to work and don't have anyone else who will look after them. Unfortunely ever since my aunt got with her current husband she completely changed! i don't know if its because she had her own family or because he changed her but its like she had some sort of personality transplant. She never comes to see us except for about 5 minutes to drop of Emma and Jim on sataurdays she doesn't bother with any other family anymore (her brother, mum dad) and we barely talk. My relotionship has faded with her throughout the past two years and no matter what i say to her that shes changed she just doesn't get it. Heres the problem, shes revealed she is now pregnant for the second time and after she has her second child she will be giving up work (this means i won't see Jim on sataurdays anymore) I am soo worried that she is going to take my cousin away from me. I love him to bits but i have a feeling once she stops working i won't have a relotionship with Jim or Emma or the new baby. I want to get my feelings across that i don't want her to take away Jim but how? what should i say how should i say it? SHould i say anything? or am i worrying to much? I can't speak to her husband either as our family is on bad terms with him and i just don't get along with him. Any suggestions.`
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh yes it is her choice intially and i do accept it, but there are just things ive heard from Emma which makes me worried, like he has problems with her going out. But i do understand 100% that it is ovbiously her choice who to love.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 October 2011):
 I understand why you would be worried and concerned about your Auntie. But it was her choice to marry her husband, she obviously loves him and I guess you just need to accept her decision.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for your advice, its not that she doesn't get enough time to come and see us, we litterally live a 20 minute drive away from her.
Unfortunely her husband is very controlling he has a thing against our family, he doesn't like strong independent women and as our family is full of about 9 women and one man he tends to keep away.
He controlls her but she is so wrapped up in love she doesn't get it, even his daughter (emma) who's 12 has said he likes to controll people and doesn't like women.
So we think that is what has made her just all of a sudden stop talking to us, we try our best to invite her round for meals or just check up on her when shes ill but she always comes up with some sort of excuss.
I will try and get my message across to her so thanks.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (25 October 2011):
Tell her how worried you are that you will never get to see your cousins again. Maybe you could call around to her at the weekends and come to some arrangements where you could spend time with your cousins. Talk to her about it and am sure you can come to some arrangement.
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