A
male
age
41-50,
*eadEyeDick
writes:Ok this is a dumb question, but one ive honestly began to ponder upon lately, and i thought what better place to take this question, I hang out with a lot of girls, not by any preference, it just happens that way, i never really even noticed until someone brought it to my attention the other day, asked me if they were all booty calls, and it hit me, for whatever reason a good majority of these girls Ive never even thought of in that way, so, how do you know when a girl that is always coming over, hanging out with you etc. how do you know if that girl or girls really just like hanging out with you, or if they are sexually attracted to you, and are just coming over in hopes you will make a move on them? i know this is a dumb question, but before i start trying to knock these bottoms off, and start losing friends, how can i test the waters or tell which ones would let me, and which ones wont?
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male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (5 July 2012):
DeadEyeDick is verified as being by the original poster of the question Sorry it took so long to update this, I decided you all made alot of sense, I guess I was just starting to realize, I had never had so many friends that were female, it all just kind of shook me, and im not talking about having a few more girls then guys as friends, im talking about a significant amount of female friends, my thoughts went into motion when I wasn't getting any ass, at all, and I started wondering what was wrong with me? was I simply not attractive anymore(I got an infection last year and went from 230lbs to 168lbs in 3 months)I was EXTREMELY!! self conscience over my new found body shape, I have never in my life had a completely different body build, my body had actually changed, as if I had been surgically cut apart, and then reconstructed with someone else s body, and even my face, I started wondering if any of these girls would even have sex with me if I tried, or were they all just really guys to me, as in hopefully none of my guy friends find me sexually attractive, so is everyone of these girls im friends with just seeing me like my guy friends would? or could one of them be on the fence, like my really good friend who would bang me if the scenario ever came to be, but was just as cool if we are friends and only that? I was just really fucked up and confused, I began healing almost immediately after I posted that, I went from 168lbs in late March, to 190lbs, at the beginning of May, so I was basically at a point that I just couldn't mentally deal with, because of something I just couldn't physically help, I began to change back to normal and the whole issue kind of just went away, but it was an extremely valuable learning period for me, and believe me or not, you 4 people that posted are THE ONLY ADVICE I FOLLOWED!! and that's the god's honest truth, I learned a long time ago, when I post a question on here, and a unanimous answer comes back, regardless what it is, I FUCKING FOLLOW IT! and because I did, I think I probably saved a few friendships that were on the verge of being exploited, thank you all, you truly helped me out here, thanx again.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (18 March 2012):
 I have always had many guy friends and never dated or slept with any of them.
For me a friend is a friend. Granted I'm "pre-fwb era".
You asked how do you know? Well, first off, I think for the most part it would be obvious. They would want to spend alone time with you and be a little more touchy then usual. I doubt any woman these days sit back and wait for the man to engage.
And honestly if nothing has happened you will lose a friend if you start thinking you can "use" them for sex.
I'd definitely back the hack away from a guy I thought was my friend but who suddenly want me to be his booty call. Creepy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2012): In my experience if there was a girl in your group of friends who liked you, you'd know by now. Girls make this kind of thing quite clear OP and believe it or not will start moving things forward and making sure you know if you don't get the hint. If they're the shy type then one of your other friends would be trying to set you up with her. It's very rare that you'll find you're close friends with a girl and not know she likes you.
The point is you'd know by now so it's best to just assume none of them are interested in you in that way and you're safely friendzoned.
Saying all that if there is one in particular you like then by all means start upping the flirting and romance with her. But don't be an idiot that tries it on with girls as a means to test whether they like you or not. One thing you should get from having so many female friends is that they value guy friends in terms of safety and trust, in the sense they can be themselves and don't have to worry that about you making moves on them. If you start thinking with your little head now and start trying to bed them you throw that all away and girls talk. You lose that trust. You become just another guy trying to bed them.
You have female friends, surely you've been out with them and seen what they think of those guys who try it on and when they fail they go try the same thing with another girl nearby and do this for the night. Those guys are creeps and what you propose is becoming one of those, you do it with one and all the other girls will know and be on guard when you're around. You may actually succeed but you'll probably lose a lot of their respect along the way.
My question to you is why you would want to start bedding your female friends? Do you not care about your friendship with them? Were you always plotting them as conquests before you befriended them? I don't get it.
I was a player for a couple of years and female friends were always off the table, they're not fair game. Having a group of girl friends is exceptionally useful when dating for getting a female perspective and for getting insight into the little games that the girl you're seeing may be playing, why she's doing what she's doing and what she expects, so you can calculate your next move and do things the right way.
My advice to you would be not to shit on your own doorstep. Bed strangers and girls you only barely know if you want to fool around. If you want a specific girl in your circle of friends then start building a closer relationship with her, start wooing her and see where that gets you. Be the guy that stands out from the rest of us and treat her with extra respect because she's your friend.
If this is just a matter of wondering how many of your female friends find you sexually attractive then just ask them. They're your friends after all, just ask them if they'd ever thought of going further with you as a hypothetical. I'd say some of them probably have.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger  +, writes (17 March 2012):
 I agree with Janniepeg..... this isn't a case of working your way thru the group until one of them accepts your advances.
If none of them have grabbed your attention emotionally/physically/sexually by now, then really, do you find any of them attractive in a relationship sense?
The fact that you have been more than happy to just be 'friends' for so long, has probably lulled them into a sense of security, knowing that you wont try and hit on them. You are 'safe' and unthreatening.
Do any of them stand out in personality to you? Do you get on better with one of them?
What do you want from them? Sex? A relationship? FWB? A bit of fun?.... I think you need to define what you are looking for.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (17 March 2012):
 I don't know about other females but if I am single and always visiting a guy, that's because I already consider him as a brother. I might flirt with him just to see if he reacts, and that's about it. I usually don't test the guy and wait for him. If I have to wait for him then it's long overdue. I am traditional believing that any relationship should start with the whole courtship ritual. You have to have the guts to single one female out, be clear that she is the one you want because of her qualities, and not go out with a girl just because she lets you.
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