A
female
age
36-40,
*andy57
writes:I was wondering if anyone here has gotten back together with their ex boyfriend who broke up with her. I wanted to know if i should keep contacting my ex boyfriend that i love and dont want to lose. Is there hope? Also, A MORE IMPORTANT QUESTION...should i contact him...or not at all. If you got back toegther with your ex, did he look for YOU...or did you make sure that he didnt forget you by calling him every once in awhile. PLEASE HELP! i'd appreciate some GREAT advice!!! thanks in advance! I saw him 2 weeks ago, but we havent talked since.
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (26 June 2008):
 Hi,
I don't really think this is a good idea. What makes you think he would have changed in the meantime. The excuses he gave you sound pretty weak if you ask me, so I dare say it was more than that ( and something you probably dont want to hear like he doesnt love you anymore )
But if you have an email address why don't you simply send him an email. just a quick hello, how are you, just seeing if you are o.k. If he sends a long email back he may be having second thoughts, but if he doesnt you will know he doesnt want to reignite that particular flame.
You may just have to accept you werent meant to be together and move and meet someone else.
good luck.
A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (26 June 2008):
Ok well in that case, do you think he is ready for a relationship now? What are the chances of his financial problems being solved? When and if only he has dealt with his financial problems and feels he is ready for a relationship, you should get back with him.
You could try contacting him, just to see how he his, but not try to get back with him. Acess the situation and if he is ready for a r/ship now he will probably show some signs.
But yeh i dont think your chances of him being ready will be high because its only been 2 months. But you can give it a shot I guess...if you do and hes not ready i suggest its tme you make steps to move forward because you deserve to move on and not have to wait around for him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): I've never gotten back with a significant ex who broke up with me.
But I have had a few exes contact me again after some time had passed, usually to apologize, or see how I am doing and sometimes to try to be "friends" again. One guy in particular, called 4 months later, and said he was really sorry and kept me on the phone a while and tried hard to express that he really wanted to stay in touch with me and be "friends" again. But at that point, I just wasn't interested in anything he had to offer.
But they only seem to regret it only after I have moved on. But I am a very strong girl, I didn't contact any of them at all after they broke my heart. And I moved on really fast. I think guys can sense if you have moved on or not. And the faster you move on, the faster they regret losing you.
But it also depends on the guy. I have dated guys who I have never heard from again.
Basically, the more a guy respects and values you, the more guilt he will feel at having lost you and having hurt you. It won't be overnight. It might take months or longer for him to realise. And NO you musn't contact him at all. Men ONLY respect and value girls who have dignity and move on, especially if he was the one who broke up with you.
But just remember that if a guy regrets a break up it has nothing to do with you. That is just simply his own personal learning experience that he is meant to go through. That's only meant for him to learn something and usually not meant for the both of you to get back together. That is why you should never wait around for that to happen. You need to move on. The only thing that you WILL get out of him regretting it is a huge ego boost. It will make you feel so good to know that 4 months down the line he is STILL thinking of you. That in itself is PRICELESS.
But no matter what, the BEST thing you can do is move on. I have even given you proof from my own experience that it always works to make them regret it. So move on.
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A
female
reader, candy57 +, writes (26 June 2008):
candy57 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo answer your question, he broke up with me about 2 months ago. His reasoning was that he didnt want anything serious and he is having financial problems.
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A
female
reader, ariad  +, writes (26 June 2008):
 well in my case, I split up with my ex last July and we have never stopped being in touch, as a matter of fact he is paying for my studies now ,which has complicated my life with a new boyfriend I have. He always contacted me and of course I felt I was still part of his life and did the same.
If you are contacting him make sure what you realy want from him, love or friendship, that has messed up my whole life, now I do not know what to do. I tell you that because even though my ex contacted me it did not mean he wanted to come back to my life, he said he just cared for me, but when I started a new relationship ( even though he does not know) he realized how much he missed me, so clarify your ideas, feelings and specially HIS feelings.
Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (26 June 2008):
It all really depends on why you broke up. So why did you guys break up??? How long ago did you guys break up?
Generally I would say that a relationship is in the past for a good reason, however there are some situations where maybe it could work. For example, sometimes two people meet at a time in there life where they just arent right for each other, where they both might not want a relationship or where they are so different, but later grow up to be very similar.
However, when bigger issues were involved during the break up, such as trust, disrespect, abuse, jealousy or anything unhealthy its veyr hard to go back to and have it be successful the 2nd time around.
If you go back then you need to make sure that whatever the reason was for the break has been dealt with.
I was once dumped by a bf, I was fairly hurt. I stoped contacting him, yet it was hard to avoid him because we lived next door to each other. But once I moved on with my life and got a new bf, suddenly he wanted me back.
Im not suggesting you find a new guy just to use to make your ex jealous though. Im just saying what happened in my situation :)
If you appear to be happy without him, it'll probably make you seem more irristable.
Hope this has helped :)
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