| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: question for guys. why are some men afraid of marriage even when the relationship is great and ur meant to be together and he even says so. why will men reap the benifets of a wife without making the women a wife? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (20 December 2006):
 This question is particular to you. Only you have all the details about your relationship. Many women are the same way. Why do some women lose interest in sex, to some extent, after they ring is on the finger? Your guy only reaps the benefits YOU award him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2006): Hello
"Why will men reap the benefits of a wife without making the women a wife?"
- Why pay for the cow when you can get the milk for free?
In seriousness, it is actually far less common for people to marry who are still in their early 20's, or teens than it used to be. Before contraception, and when women were financially dependant on men, women were, more or less, forced to marry a man because it was the only way she could survive. Similarly, women would be more likely to be "choosy" on who they had sex with, because falling pregnant to the wrong man could be disasterous for her. That, together with two recent world wars would explain why people entered in to marriage so young and early. If you look at the statistics of people who choose to get married young now, they are quite unlikely to stay remain married, so it's not something you should necessarily aspire to want.
Without the surpression of sex and the dependence of financial support, marriage nowadays really does have to be based on love and commitment to work properly. People, in this kind of society, generally arn't emotionally nor experienced enough to be ready for such a level of commitment. I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing if you want to marry but your partner isn't ready, but it depends on how long a partner avoids commitment, yet isn't opposed to marriage. Personally, my answer would be that if someone believes in marriage, but always says they aren't ready yet says the relationship is great, then that is a big clue that, deep down, they don't see you as a wife. If this has only been going on a few months, give it more time. If it's been going on for more than a couple of years, I'd say ask yourself if you ever see a change of mind - if not now - when? It's unlikely to ever be, in my opinion. Talk, talk, talk with him - that's what I suggest. Good luck with whatever happens :)
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