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Please tell me ~ how do I deal with my insecurities and learn to relax?

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Question - (15 July 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 15 July 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, *stanie writes:

My guy likes everything about me...but I am so insecure with how I look, coming up with intelligent conversations, and speaking my mind...so how do I deal with my insecurities and relax?

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A female reader, Artistry United States +, writes (15 July 2008):

Artistry agony auntHi there, The first thing I would say is that, if your

boyfriend likes everything about you, that's a great starting place to build upon. It seems that he sees in

you a lot of qualities that you have, that you are not giving yourself credit for. Believe him when he tells you the things that he does, he is flattering you and you should

revel in that fact. So first believe your boyfriend, he sees the goodness in you, and the other qualitites, such as your ability to converse with him. I am a great believer in books, go, if you would, and find a good book on building your self-esteem and confidence. Then find a few books, you can buy them one at a time, just write the titles down, until you ar ready to purchase them, on subjects that you have an interest in. Check out Newsweek, Time or U. S. News and World Report magazines. These will give you information on current events and other things, such as the latest things in technology. Get yourself a library card, and spend some time browsing among the books, check out a few that capture your interest. Go to: www.socyberty.com/writers/quiet+voice.8137 and look for the title, "Finding Your Core". Print it out and read it every now and then. You may find it interesting and appropriate for you. Also start buying the New York Times newspaper, every now and then. Increase your imagination, by purchasing a small book on poetry, lighthearted poetry at first would be good. Crossword puzzles extend your vocubulary. There is a fun game on the internet called FreeRice.com, you build your vocabulary by guessing the meanings of the word that comes up, at the same time, you will donate grains of rice to hungry people around the world, through the United Nations. Be careful, because it is addictive. :o) If you don't get the word on the first guess, they will tell you the meaning, then a little later, they will ask you the meaning of the same word again. It's a lot of fun. Now I hope, I have stimulated your pure mind with these ideas, in six months I want you to write us back and tell us how you feel about yourself. You have a lot of God given gifts, you just have to dust them off and realize the beauty of who you are. You have a purpose, seek out that purpose and thrive. Learn to be your own best friend. Love yourself, you are loved by others. Finally, appreciate who you are, there is only one special you. Take care always.

one last thing, there are a lot of ugly people, but they are so charming and beautiful on the inside that no one ever thinks about their exterior. Be a beautiful soul,learn to help others, and care about yourself. You will be fine, you will grow into a swan. Be happy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008):

Just foccas on your good qualitys and work on your insecureities....Your boyfriend obviously isn't blind, so he knows a good thing when he see's it. It you trust him, trust in his judgment of you. Good Luck Love

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