A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:how do you say "im sorry and i will never do it again" to a man I cheated on twice? I really really regret it and I love him to death. I am so mad at myself for ruining this relationship. He left me after 6 months of finding out. I tried EVERYTHING. Please help me find a new way to say i wont do it again and i regret what i did. I really love this man....im so stupid!signed,scrwd up Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): I have an awful feeling that time is the only answer, time & backing off & showing him you've changed. That's what people are telling me........ i've just (probably) lost the best man I've ever had because of a combination of his insecurity about my past but more importantly because of MY issues damaging our relationship & MY dishonesty about a couple of (one very major) thing..... now he says he doesn't want emotion (we have a son so have to spend time together) because that brings upset....wants a platonic relationship. I think if a man loves you there is always hope........at least I hope so........
A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (29 June 2008):
 I would get right up in his face and tell him you are going to make him get back together you...and then put your hand on your hip like you mean business. If that doesn't work, I would show up in a wedding dress where he works.
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A
female
reader, DiovanLestat  + ♥, writes (29 June 2008):
 Ok, more help coming up.....
Right you say "im sorry and i will never do it again" but he won't believe you cause you already said this before and still broke your promise. "Make a fool of me once, shame on you, make a fool of me twice, then shame on me".... there is no third time according to this song. It would be usefull to know more details. Even with the above advice, nothing is written in stone, if we could find out more, we could give you suggestions to help repair the hurt you have caused. If you love him, then there might be something to work with, give us more information and we'll try to help.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI REALLY do appreciate this feedback please i need more
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A
female
reader, lotty83 +, writes (28 June 2008):
Hun, once is a mistake but twice is harsh. You must actually look at why you did it, once you find the true underlying cause you will then know if this can be saved or not. He is not getting back with you because of self preservation, and that must be respected and im sure you understand why. You could try asking him to be close friends,and almost then spend that time finding each other again, try having some fun together. This can never change what you have done, but if this stands another chance of working again then you almost have to start again. Be very honest to yourself, as you have to be so so sure this is what you want before making all the strides. Also think how you would feel if he did this to you? How would you like to be treated and how would you like someone to make it up to you etc. Make sure you post back and say how it goes. XX
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (28 June 2008):
The "I'll never do it again" simply is not going to work. There's no damage control at this point, it's all been said and done. To continue to try to get this man back and convince him of something you apparently are unable or unwilling to control is self serving on your part. It's kinda like the cheating, all about serving your needs at the time- I'm sure he's figured this much out, that's why it's not working.
I don't know if this has been a pattern for you in all your relationships or just with him. One thing I would do is instead of focusing on a tangible end result that involves the life, heart, and emotions of another person, take the time to sort yourself out so you have more to offer.
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns +, writes (28 June 2008):
 Instead of trying to un-do the damage your affairs have created to your relationship, I think you should really look at why you were so easily lured away by another man. Could it be that there were things lacking in your current relationship? Affairs don't just happen. People have more self control than that. There's usually a reason. You just need to search your heart and figure it out. My guess is you were unsuited for each other from the beginning, but he felt "comfortable" (better than being alone) but he wasn't really someone you were attracted to. Maybe he felt "safe". But I suspect there was something missing. Once you figure that out, you'll be able to chose a man who better suits your taste and then you'll be less likely to cheat again. Good luck. I think you'll have to let him go and learn from this experience.
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