A
female
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anonymous
writes:I am really confused. People have always told me that I am really quiet- thats true, I am quiet by nature but I can also be very shy on top of that around new people. But even when I am around people I am close to, I'm not loud and overly talkative, I'm more quiet- its just who I am I think.Anyway, what anoys me is when people, such as my bf and friends or anyone else I know, say things like 'you are so quiet, you never speak'...when I clearly do speak! Its like they just forget about the time I spent hours talking to them whenthere bf broke up with them? And all the words of support I tried to give them? Did they forget about the time we talked non stop about how good that music concert was???I feel like sometimes I just shouldnt even bother talking because its like no one remembers, they still lable me as someone who "never talks". One of my frends bf's is alot like me. He is very quiet and people often say the same things about him as they say about me. For example, my bf says sometimes says things like "you barely ever talk" and the other day he met my friends bf and he said the same thing about him. It really confused me because my friend's bf does talk! He even went out of his way to ask questions to my bf about him and his life etc...yet he was still labled as someone who doesnt talk. I dont understand why me and him get labled this and people always have a negative tone about it.I am afraid my bf will break up wiht me because of this. My ex bf told me he was going to dump me because his friends didnt like me (they didnt like me because I was quiet/shy around them).
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): Dear Anonimous
i also work in a medium sized office of architects as a receptionist and the office manager sit just behind me and everytime when clients/ visitors comes enters our office she jumps and greets and then offers to assist them before i even greet them. that is so annoying, our office is an open plan office so everyone will be watching that. i also dont know what to do because i am very quiet. i think i am on the same situation as you. be strong and worry about your job not about what other people think about you
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): He is going to dump you because his friends don't like you? Good riddance to bad rubbish.
One problem solved, next one.
People are odd in the way they judge people. I am for instance rather shy, but don't show it outwardly, so people think I am not. When it comes to topics I know something about I have no problem joining a conversation, this makes it very hard for people to understand that I find casual chit chat extremely difficult and the thought of just approaching a woman out of the blue and come up with A LINE! scares me.
So you not being quiet may have NOTHING to do with the amount you talk, just that you seem to them to be quiet. Perhaps you are a good listener, don't often steer the conversation to what you want to talk about. It may even simply be your looks, a small brunette is offcourse more quiet then a large blond and a redhead is always a firecracker.
I wouldn't worry about it, we all get labels and being quiet ain't the worsed of them. The boyfriend you are better of without. Letting your friends decide who to date, geez, be a man! What next, his mommy don't agree?
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