A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im at a lost me and my husband are having problems alot of people keep telling him things that arent true about me and i have no idea why there sayin this stuff hes deployed and guyz over there are tellin him ive been sleepin around on him and im not and people back at home where i dont live anymore are tellin him that i did stuff but they were too afriad to tell him cause there my friends too but im notdoing anything and all he can say is well i dont believe you cause why would these people lie to me i mean yea theres things that i havent told him before like me gettin into a car accident but i didnt want to worry him over there it was takin care of and i had a party for my friend who he hates and i didnt tell him but i told him later when he came home for RNR and i had my friend who he dont like come up here with a friend of ours i didnt tell him cause i know he dont like her but ive been here by myself with no friends for 6 months and i just needed a friend and she was only here for the weekend and then they got into an accident and i went to go get them to take them home and i didnt tell him i was back at home but he found out anyways but people are tellin him that ive cheated and ive done it infront of them and i dont understand why people are sayin stuff like that ive never cheated on him and i never will and the only reason i lied to him is cause he has a really bad attitude problem and he thinks because his life as stopped over there that mine should stop over here and i dont think that fair what do i do i dont know how much longer i can take him believin other people over me and i feel like im fallin outta love with him cause ive never been the one to let a man control me and he does but i just need some advice on what i should do and why people would say stupid stuff like that why are they out to ruin my marriage?please help me! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2007): I don't know why people would say stupid stuff like that, and am not sure but what your husband is making that up to test you....to see how much you care and are willing to fight for this relationship.
I think it would help things to communicate more honestly with him, just because he is gone and doesn't have to know what you are up to does not mean that you should just not mention it to him...he wants and needs to hear about your days so he can stay connected in your life and heart..so no more leaving out the details, talk to him...tell him you love and miss him, and if he knows you at all, he will know that you are not one to cheat on him.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 June 2007):
 Ignore the idiots, live your life with honesty and integrity. You don't have to lie to your husband to protect his feelings, in fact it just makes things worse. Tell him the truth and if he chooses not to believe it that's his problem. If you want to have girlfriends over for a visit then have them over and you can tell him about that as well. In other words, don't hide ANY of your activities from your husband. Once he returns home you can sort all this out. He is doing a very important job over there he needs your support as well as your honesty.
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