A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay so heres the thing, ive been dating this girl for a while and im certain that i love her but i have some problems (problems which she knew about prior to the relationship starting because i dated her sister before her) and the problems are that i drink and smoke and last night she knew i was at a party but wanted to see me i told her that i was trashed and she said okay and told me to come over anyway so i walked the few blocks from the party over to her house and we spent a couple hours together talking (most of which i remember) and now the next day shes mad at me i understand why she is and am sure she wont be mad at me soon but what do you guys think i should do about my problems ive tried quitting just for her and for about 3 weeks i was off cold turkey but was dragged back into these things, basically all my friends do these things to so when i want to hang out they are doing these things and i just start doing it with them, also i know i should change the people i hang out with but where i live these are the only people to hang out with advice? :( Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (4 January 2012):
 I think you need to talk to your friends, tell them that you are quitting drinking and smoking and you want to start doing other activities rather than partying all the time. You will soon find out who your true friends are - if they support you and help you then you have a true friend, if they carry on partying and trying to suck you into that lifestyle then they are not true friends at all.
If none of them support you well you have to let them go - yes life isnt nice without friends, but in time you will meet new people and make new friends. I'm sure where you live your friends are not the ONLY people that live there, I'm sure even if its a small village that there will be more than your friends in the place so that excuse isnt going to wash.
I suggest you get some professional help as this will steer you in the right direction. You will also be able to meet other recovering alcoholics and make friends that way. It will be much easier to go cold turkey if you have support from a professional and other people in the same situation as you.
I hope this helps and good luck!
|
