A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello, me and my boyfriend have only been together for 3 months; and i have been with him every single day from the first day we went out. I find myself so complete when im with him, and when i leave him or he leaves me i get all upset and break down. i ring him every night and when im on the phone i just break down in tears and just cant handle myself, my boyfriend says that im just being paranoid that hes going to cheat or something but it isnt true. when im not with him i just cant handle it, it feels like i havent seen him for weeks but i see him everyday but i just cry wen im not with him. hes sorta getting annoyed cause he knows that when im not with him i get upset so he feels like he has to be with him and cant go out and have fun with his mates. im 16 and hes 17, and hes the only proper relationship ive had for ages so is the reason im like this is because i dont want to lose him? thanks in advance. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (10 April 2010):
 Wow, you sound like you are going to suffocate this boy, drive him away with your neediness. You get upset and break down when you aren't with him? This is very dramatic and rather sad.
Are other things in your life okay? Your family? Have you suffered a loss of a loved one or anything like that? I ask because this severe neediness isn't really normal and is a sign that there is something going on with you.
Have you considered perhaps that a healthier relationship would look more like two people who enjoy being together but are solid, well-grounded on their own?
I guess the real question is why are you so unhappy that you are relying on this poor boy to be your everything? What is happening that makes you feel so needy?
A
male
reader, anonymous_jp  +, writes (10 April 2010):
my girlfriend is exactly the same just on a lesser scale, to be honest the level of being needy can be suffocating. you seem to have become dependant on him which isnt a good thing. next time you miss him after a day just txt him saying how much you love him and apologize for being this way and that if you could help it you would. that would make him less annoyed and more understanding than breaking down and calling him. im guessing you have not much else in your life if you are obsessing over him so much, what about your friends? sport? play an instrument? that will make time away from him less painful and youll mature and develop yourself further to handle it when he is away. really consider playing an instrument, music is amazing therapy.
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