A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone.I need some advice and anything given will be appreciated.Me and my boyfriend have been together for 14 months. He's lovely and treats me like a princess, however recently things between us have been a bit difficult.We havent been able to sleep together properly for about 3 months, due to the fact my doctor changed my pill and it gave me thrush 3/4 times a month and would not go. Unfortunatly, this has left my insides raw and they cant figure out how to basically make things better as the thrush has gone. At the moment i spend more time at the gyno's than home!My boyfriend always trys to kiss me/create something sexually but i find myself forevever pulling away without actually realising im shrugging him off until after i have done it. I guess it has become a naturally reaction as i know the pain that can happen if i let myself go.Weve been bickering a lot lately and we seem to spend a lot of our time together sat in the same room but not actually together. Il read my book or he'll play on his ipad. when we do actualy speak we can get on great for about 10/20 mins and then we have a bicker and return to silence. I feel like he doesnt respect me as much as he did and is being quite unfair to me.For example the other day i asked him what he would like for food, he replied he didnt know he wasnt hungry, so i said do you not want to bother? so he repeated the questions that i had asked him but in a mimck voice of mine. He spends so much of his time winding me up he knows exactly how to cause an arguement.Then today my facebook account was frozen on my iphone on the section that you can 'chat' to people, so i decided to log on to my boyfriends facebook and send myself a message from him to me, which would hopefully reload my facebook chat, rather than deleting it and re installing it. If any of you has recently used the facebook chat, you will see that the messages that are sent are no automatically saved in your private emailing section as well. So i went to send myself one, and when i got on to his private emailing he had deleted all of his messages from there. Now many people think whats to worry about? Since i have got with my boyfriend we have always been very open, we know each others passwords and he has had the same messages on his facebook email from friends for years. He's never made the effort to delete them. Now since his chat messages are being saved in his private email he has deleted them all.He also deletes his phone messages, he always has since ive been with him but he has never been as concious about it as he is now. The only messages that he keeps are from me. Now i dont know whether to think he is talking to somebody else, such as a female? or maybe he has confided in his friends about how bad things are between us or something he doesnt want me to know. As he has kept all of his messages on his facebook since i have been with him and why start deleting them now coincidently as things between us are getting shady?thanks for ayy advice.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): It's hard to tell what could be going on with the Facebook messages and texts without any other information. I'd say for this part, give him the benefit of the doubt.
As for you pushing him away and coming to a rocky spot in your relationship, it's possible that he feels you don't care about him if you don't seem to let him come onto you. Does he understand that you're very sore from thrush and that you dread the thought of going through the pain? If he isn't aware of the severity, talk to him about it. If you can't have sex with him, instead try other forms of pleasure, like oral or manual stimulation. It's possible that he feels you don't care about him if you aren't showing how physically attracted you are to him. This can cause rough patches in a relationship, certainly.
The best way to help this situation is communication and getting creative!
In the meantime, please go to a different gynecologist and explain your health situation. Perhaps a second opinion can help you.
Best of luck!
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