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*iddy7
writes: ok I fell like I didn't give enough information last time, I was with this guy for about a year, everything was wonderful, we moved in together, we talked of marriage and children, and we were so happy.. then I got pregnant, had an abortion, went on birth control, I got a new job and started back in to college, and I got very stressed and started to stress about or relationship too, about the fact that we don't spend enough time together, and made that an issue. I had changed because of all the stress and then he moved his stuff out, he said because it cluttered up my room, and we still slept together, then the sex stopped because he says it caused to many problems, this made me feel as though he didn't want me anymore, so that made me think that we didn't have anything in common, and just caused more stress..I am the kinda person who will think about a solution until its the perfect time, and I can communicate exactly what I mean, so that I don't mess up and get miscommunication. Well he says that I hide from him and don't tell him what is really going on, its not that I don't want to tell him it just that I don't want to say it wrong, because it happend to me alot.Anyway, he also works as a raft guide, and I know all he does up there is go down the river, which is the love of his life, he just loves it and the people he works with are his family! I love it too, I just didn't communicate that to him... He even asked me several times if I wanted him to quit and get a real job, but i know that would make him miserable so I said no.. I told him I just wanted to be a part of his life up there...but anyways when he is up there I know he gets drunk and partys, and when I'm not there I worried that he would cheat on me.But one night he said he was going to be back and he didn't call or come back so I called him and told him i just couldn't do it anymore and I have never felt so miserable.. I didn't know how much I really cared for him, or how much he really made me happy, and how much I had gotten away from who I used to be, and how miserable I had probably made him until It was all gone.. I love him sooo much, and I have told him that stress had changed me, he didn't care, he said he just can't see me right now, he needs to be alone, so thats what I am trying to give him, time, but it is so hard..I have quit my job and am out of school I am really trying to be who I used to be cause I used to be so happy with him...My plan is to give it sometime try to see other people, maybe call him in a couple of weeks to see how he is doing, and then maybe ask him if I could go rafting with him one more time..Is this the right thing to do, do you think I have a possiblity to get back with him? I need help please...
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abortion, drunk, get back together, moved in Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, fechon +, writes (26 May 2005):
Dear Writer,First of all, ask yourself if he is what you need. What kind of man do you need in your life? It is different than what you want. If indeed everything about this guy is what you need, then you can go to the second question. How did you fit into your life? If the going gets rough and the boat's rocking due to your stress, does he stay or jump ship? Anything could be a reason to leave the relationship when it's not the one.
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