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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi,I've recently split with my girlfriend of about 2 months. We got together just before I went to uni and I've been making regular trips home to see her.Last time I went home she told me she doesn't like me not being with her and couldn't be with me in a long-distance relationship. Apart from that everything else about our relationship was perfect.Now I feel so low and can't stop thinking about her. I dont wanna lose her. I would find it easy to accept if we'd fallen out or something, but we didn't; it was just the distance. I'm totally gutted about it, what do I do? She knows how I feel. She's 16 and I'm 19. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2005): You need to intellectualize the situation.
- most highschool relationship do not survive the first semester after the transition to college.
- "I dont wanna lose her". Why? She isnt much good to you as a gf when you a hundreds of miles away. And vice a versa. Write down every reason you can think of for the 'why' question. Is it just that this isnt on your own terms (thats silly)? You dont think you can replace her (there are lots of girls at your college who just shed their highschool boyfriends)? There was no 'falling out' (most likely there will be sooner or later as you are exposed to older peer group verses a 16 yo)?
If you examining it, you'll see that *most* people in your case drift apart. It not you... .its the circumstances. No need to feel gutted.
Dont trust me on my facts? Go to a college party and ask the girls there about this. Half of them will be trying to keep something together from back home.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2005): Hun, if she felt your relationship couldn't withstand the distance, she likely did not have the committment and deep caring for you, in the first place that it requires, to make this work. Sorry, but you need to hear this in order to move on and hopefully in time, can get over your heartache. Try your best to distract your self by taking on other activities and being with trusted, good friends.
Times heals heartache and that's what you need most right now. Take Care and be strong.
Hugs,
Irish
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