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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been with my guy for over 9 months now. He is caring and gentle, but lately I feel like I am not a priority for him. He works a lot, and I understand that, but now we have sex once in a couple of weeks or so. Is it fair of me to blame him for that, and for not spending enough time with me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2005): Work is one of the biggest compromises in a relationship and because it's a necessity, it's a difficult challenge to overcome permanently. It's important to address this issue, but to also accept the reality of the situation that may just be, he cares about you, but he's busy with his career too. People who work full-time, generally spend more time at their jobs than they do with or at anything else. Before discussing the issue, you need to trust him and know that even if he works a lot, he's still faithful and wants to come home to you and no one else. If you don't believe this, then the relationship will likely end. If you do believe and trust him, go with his pace, play his game, stay busy yourself and keep your agenda. If you make yourself too accessible to him, he won't try harder because he already knows he doesn't have to. And if he still doesn't seem to want you anymore after giving him a little chase, dump him and kiss his best friend. :)
A
female
reader, Topps +, writes (15 November 2005):
Why is this lately? Has he always worked alot or is he working more hours lately? I think you are being reasonable wanting to spend more time together. tell him so, ask him how he feels and if it bothers him that he does see so much of you. Get his opinion. If you need more, he needs to provide it or you need to reassess if this is working for you. Perhaps you can reach a compromise. I have two examples of this happening to friends of mine. On one occasion her BF was working extra hours to take her away on a surprise holiday because she had been unwell lately, the other he was having an affair with a women at work! Which is yours most likely to be?
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