A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, this is quite a complicated situation, so I'm going to write an entry from my diary in here, it probably explains my feelings better. Basically, I'm in love with my best best friend. Our "relationship" has been going on for about a year and a half now. We're not actually dating, we're more kind of... seeing each other. It gets a little person toward the end, sorry ahah. Sorry for the novel."I hate you so much. I hate you for doing this to me. I even hate the fact I'm writing this; you're not even worth me wasting anymore ink on. I hate that you know how to control me so well, whilst I am powerless against you. I hate what I've become. I hate that you can still do this to me even though we don't even live in the same city anymore.You are such a dick. You pretend to love me just to hold me in one place; you hold my hand to keep me wanting more. You kiss me to cement our "special" relationship, but will go no further. Yet, you know how I feel about you; I have given you MORE than enough opportunities to end it with me. But you don't. You say we could never ever be "just friends". Why is this? If you don't love me, why don't you want to end it with me?I'll tell you why. You don't want me to move on. That would be your worst nightmare because without me, you'd hhave to face what a dick you truly are. Especially now you've moved away from London, and don't even have our friends to fawn after you anymore. All you would have to face is reality. So, you are allowed to move on, and I am not. You want to keep me dangling on a string so you can bat me about like a large, cruel cat. When a better offer comes along, you will be gone without a second thought towards me. Do you know why I haven't slept/done anything sexual with anyone since I came here? Because everytime I get close to a boy, you come into my head. And I freeze up. I can't do it. I panic and I run away. Even though I know you would never do the same for me. If you loved me, you wouldn't play these games with me. If you loved me, you would be with me.I know this. I have written about it countless times. So why do I put up with it? Because I love you. I love when you hug me in bed. I love the look of joy on your face when you come and meet me from the train station. I love when you suggest we go out for lunch together. I love the way you suggest we go away with your family for holidays. I love how we have our own special place in London that we go to when we're together. I love when you call me at 3am, drunk. I love being silly with you,m singing with you, walking with you, talking to you, stargazing with you. I love kissing you, feeling your lips against mine as our tongues lightly carress each other. Sleeping with you is one of my most treasured and happy memories; I will never, ever forget the feeling of your lips on my neck and down my collarbone, and the feeling of you on top of me, asking if it hurt and if I was okay. I hate it, I hate you, but I love you. I love you more than anything.I don't know what to do."Sooo ummm any advice? Basically we kind of act like we're going out a lot of the time but he doesnt want to go out with me. However, we still act like this together. I have tried to end it twice in the past month and he's turned the situation round and won't let me, he's started crying and everything. I don't know what to do! Help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Cupid69  +, writes (21 January 2010):
If he's not willing to commit you are wasting time. It may not seem like that because when the good is good it is so good, but there are people out there who will treat you the way you deserve.
If you are in a relationship that is going no where then you are preventing yourself the opportunity to meet someone who can be everything you want.
Bottom line in any relationship, if you can't see yourself with someone for the rest of your life then don't waste your time. Have fun with the relationships that you get into (and believe me their will be more) but remember, in the end unless you plan on sharing your life with that person then parting ways is not the end of the world.
You should start focusing on yourself and your own happiness and then you will realize that you don't deserve to be treated poorly. Once you realize how great you are you won't let anyone treat you any way but great.
Tell him that he is hurting you and then disconnect from him. Don't call him, text him, facebook him. It will be hard but slowly it will get easier. You won't truely get over him until someone else finds you.
Hope that helps. Good luck!!
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