A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi aunts,I am thinking of leaving my husband as i just cant seem to move on from what happened 2 years ago and i feel i am wasting not only my life but his also and feel i am not being fair. The only thing is i am terrified that i will be doing the wrong thing and live to regret it...He basically walked out on me after 7 months of marriage 2 years ago, he sort of lost himself and did not want to be married as all he could see at the time that his life was at an end being married and having kids and feeling trapped and wanted to be single again, as you can imagine my whole world fell apart, my heart was broken.We have gotten back together and during these 2 years have separated twice. Have been to counselling, have talked and talked but i just can get this feeling that he is going to do it again so cannot plan for the future so feel like i am hitting a brick wall.Has anyone ever been in a situation like this, can you please help me, i am going out of my mind, cant sleep and so tormented...I am nearing telling him to leave as i just feel i cant trust him..is it true that once the trust is gone, its lost forever???? thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2009): I think trust has to be earned, your husband went through some kind of crisis when he felt trapped in your marriage...that has to do with him and his demons, not with you. You were courageous in taking him back though and you have worked in therapy and you have still seperated twice in the last 2 years. It is my opinion if you are in therapy, that no one outside should be interfering with that and giving you advice, as it will hurt your therapy.
So my question to you is, what does your therapist advise, there job is to help you come to your own decision....my gut is telling me that your therapy is leading you to choose ending the relationship....is it? From the brief description here, there is one universal truth I think, the health of a relationship is reflected in the on again off again quality. Your relationship does not meet the criteria for a healthy relationship and I think you are not gaining any ground here. It is time to call it a day and get on with the rest of your life, but I can't tell you that for sure, only you have the answer to what you want to do.
I can tell you that you may have regrets, but I think what you will regret more is spending 2 years and one more day in an unhappy relationship with a man you cannot trust because he has not earned it.
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