| A
female
,
*yra
writes: Hi, OK this is hard. I recently split from my boyriend of 17 months. The only problem is now I'm in a new relationship but my ex still wants to spend time with me. It's driving me mad. I still care about him but when we were together I only saw him on a night. Now he wants to spend more time with me than what he did when we were in the relationship. Why is he doing this to me? Please will someone help!
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (20 July 2005):
 Actually, it doesn't seem all that hard to me. It seems pretty obvious that your ex suddenly wants you because he's seen that someone else appreciates you. Now that there's some competition for your affection, he's beginning to see all your good qualities and want what he had before.
As Irish49 said, you need to start enforcing some boundaries on your relationship. Do you want your ex back, or are you happy with the way things are going with your current boyfriend? Since you can't realistically have both guys, you need to decide what's more important, then explain what's going on to the unsuccessful suitor.
I'd suggest you do this soon, because your current boyfriend is definitely going to get edgy, if he isn't already.
Think carefully about why you broke up with your ex before you rush to take him back. Think about the good and bad qualities of both men, then follow your heart. And if you choose your current b/f, be sure that you're firm with the ex. Don't let him hang on and intrude on you!
Be strong.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2005): Whoa, girl. Can you not see what he's doing?? He just can't let go. You have a new b/f-and the the ex just cannot accept that. You don't need to push him aside. You just need to tell him the truth. Nicely explain to him your feelings and be honest. He has to let go. If you are no longer in relationship with him romantically or sexually, then you need to set clear boundaries. This is a good lesson for you in drawing lines where you need them. This may be uncomfortable for you at first, but in the long run it will serve you and your new relationship well, and him too.
It's also highly unlikely that the new boyfriend is happy about your ex b/f lurking about and if your current b/f is good to you...you may run the risk of losing him. Better make up your mind fast and decide which one is for you. He's not respecting you or your new relationship. Most old boyfriends will step aside graciously..once the ex-girlfriend finds a new boyfriend. Your ex is hanging on for dear life. Good luck
...............................
|
