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anonymous
writes: I have a very troubled relationship with my fiancee. It seems every time we get back on our feet something knocks us down again. I gave up the bachelor's life with all its trimmings to move in with her and her two children and I'm doing my level best to be part of this family. I feel she doesn't try so hard though. If there's a problem it's always my fault, even if I'm in the right. If i try to put my point across, she argues with me, belittling me and being abusive, which sets me off to yell back.We just cant seem to resolve our issues together. I'm finding her and her kids very selfish and ungrateful. Nothing I can do seems to be enough for them. I've given up a home, 2 jobs, a very good car and gone bankrupt for them but it's still not good enough. I dont know how much more I can take. She hasn't spoken to me in 3 days because yet another argument. Can anyone tell me what I can do?
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (6 May 2005):
 Firstly, what were your reasons for giving up so much? Did you do this to pay off your partner's debts as it seems rather odd that you would give up two jobs as well as a nice car when you would most certainly need them. Do you constantly push the point home as to what you have given up as this can make arguments worse. It does take two to argue and two to sort it out.The fact that she ignores you for so long is abusive in itself. Will she talk to you if you ask her to? As you both need to sit down and talk this situation through. Really listen to each other and discuss how you see the future.It may be that you have no choice but to move on. Is there anywhere you could go as you do need to find this out. It could also be the only way that she will appreciate you being around, by simply not being around.Try to talk to her but if she continues being beligerent, I think you may have to call it a day.Good luck.
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reader, tammy +, writes (5 May 2005):
Get out! Maybe then they might appreciate you a bit more!What you have done is incredible for them. If they don't like it, they're never gonna like it! Maybe it's about time to look after yourself, get yourself out of this mess, have a break to find out what you really want,and stick with that. Maybe you could learn from it, take time out to find out if this is what you really want. Take it from there.
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