A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What is going on with my ex ?. We broke up in May. He broke up with me. He dumped me for a girl he spoke to online, who he has never even met !. We live in England, and she lives in America. They spoke to each other through webcam and microphones. We had been on and off for six years. He sent me a message a while ago saying " well, i hope your life is better, and that you are happy, i really do ". I aske him why he said that, and he said he meant it, but then he said that he ended it because he didn't think i saw him enough, and it hurt him, but he said he didn' hate me or have any ill will towards me. He also said that we shouldn't talk , as talking to me would " remind him of how things could have been better between us ". I didn't respond to that, and he sent that about three weeks ago, and he has just sent me another message saying " i bet you are having a nice life without me ". Do you think he still has feelings for me ?. I'm not sure if he would want me back though. I haven't responded to that message either.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 July 2011):
 He sounds self pitying and like he wants attention.
Write him back saying "Thanks, my life without you is great actually, who'd have guessed?"
Or if you don't want to give him attitude: "Thank you, it really is great" or "Life is brilliant, thank you for thinking of me, it's very sweet of you".
It'll make him wriggle and feel sorry for himself.
If he was serious about you he WOULDN'T have broken up with you. I remember your story and other questions. This bloke is self pitying and only wants attention, so now he's sulking and wants you to tell him how amazing he is and how much you miss him and how much you would crawl and beg for him to talk to you again so he can feel all important and ditch you all over again with the "we shouldn't talk"-line.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2011): Tell him; 'hell yea, I am having a nice life without you - you made your bed and now you have to lie in it!' I guess things are probably not working out too great for his new girlfriend in America otherwise he wouldn't bother with you. Oh but he is bothering with you because you are his back up plan and he is putting the bait out there with those texts. Ignore him and move on.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict  +, writes (25 July 2011):
 Maybe he does want you back, but don't make a big deal of it since he dumped you for someone else. You're doing the right thing by not responding. If he doesn't want you two to talk, then he should stop sending the msgs in the first place.
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