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Not sure if my girlfriend is a virgin...

Tagged as: Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 July 2005) 10 Answers - (Newest, 11 May 2009)
A male , anonymous writes:

I just had sex with my girl for the first time. It wasn't too good, just like I expected, but because no blood came out I'm not sure that she is not a virgin any more ? I know that some girls do not bleed when they have sex for the first time but is it possible that she is still a virgin ? and how do i know is she still a virgin or not ? thank you

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A male reader, L-Adore-His-Mrs United Kingdom +, writes (11 May 2009):

all i can say is, think before you act, or on this case, talk before you do what you feel is right, speak it over with eachother, if she says she is a virgin then she is, if you dont think she were at the time your not just doubting her but your doubting her love for you also,

my girlfriend is still a virgin and so am i, we speak of these things together, and we believe in eachother, something that is very important before doing before you speak, oh and on the bleeding stuff? something else thats personal, you aint got no right to cross that boundary, not unless she mentions it, then you can share over it,my girlfriend i dont expect to bleed, simply because she aint got no hymen, yet still virgin, you see, thats what you have to go across either wayi have that trust in her and believe her, just giving my honesty anyway, im a young man of 19 actually, and proud of waiting, my words of wisdom for this day would have to be, -believe in your girlfriends words when it comes to her love and honesty,respect them too most of all- anyway, love her not use her, you sort of sounded like one of those common type really, you know, "my girlfriend better bleed or she is a whore" dont degrade a girl like that, all girls are diffrent, shapes, sizes, personalitys, you name it, thats what makes your partner 1 of a kind, the one you truely love is like no other, anyway i say enough, my last words is love her and believe in her, or your relationship wont last if you doubt in her.

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A female reader, hippie101 United States +, writes (26 January 2009):

ok, first off this guy is an idiot AND A COMPLETE BASTARD...

" I think the best thing to do is have sex with some other girl behind her back so you can feel like its even incase she was lying"

The hymen can be broken from LOTS of things most commonly tampon-use and sports. I was athletic, but not as hardcore as some other girls and I never used tampons (I was a virgin = discomfort) therefore, I DID bleed my first time. HOWEVER a good 75% OR MORE girls BREAK their HYMEN before INTERCOURSE.

so to the aforementioned guy- I hope you get AIDs - and to the original questioner- STOP DOUBTING HER.

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A female reader, Anlai United States +, writes (30 December 2008):

If you had sexual intercourse then she isn't a virgin anymore.

A hymen is easily lost when activities such as bike riding, exercising, gymnastics are done.. and they're lost commonly to these things. Not all women bleed durring their first time, and they may have masturbated enough to the point that sex their first time may not hurt as bad as many say.

And as for Anon from 2cnd March, 08;

Just be the bigger person. If you can't trust her then why did you even have sexual relations with her? If you can't trust her then why is she worth your time? Going and cheating on her, even if she may have lied, even if shes a 'horrible person', when you're pointing your finger at someone you're also pointing three/four back at you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2008):

same here i got the same problem it really bothers me to because i lost it to her and she "lost it to me" she didnt bleed and that really got me thinkin but she swears she was a virgin but i cant really be 100% sure cuz u cant trust girls thats why i think the best thing to do is have sex with some other girl behind her back so you can feel like its even incase she was lying

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007):

yea i have had the same problem bro and my gf is sketchy so idk she blames it on soccer or basket ball do i know that for sure no. :( It sucks

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2007):

if your girlfriend was atletic, then she could have riped the slin (the cherry) that cause females to bleed thier first time. Runners, dancers and other types of sports can effect this.

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A female reader, Wendyg United Kingdom +, writes (23 July 2005):

Wendyg agony auntShe is diffiantely not a virgin if you had penatrative sex. Jsut because she didnt bleed doesnt mean she wasnt a virgin beforehand either, we are all different and can lose the hymen in various other ways and some of us dont have any problem at all on our first time.. same goes for men.. some find it difficult others no so difficult. I would stop worrying about it now though as it seems you were too concerend that she was a virgin beforehand and you are doubting her.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2005):

If you had intercourse with her and penetrated her vagina with your penis..then we can safely say..she is NOT a virgin anymore. The blood you mention in your letter comes from the hymen, or "maidenhead," which is a thin, fleshy membrane in some girls and young women is found at the opening to the vagina. Just because she had NO blood does not mean she wasn't a virgin prior to you having sex with her.(more on that below) The hymen has a central perforation, which can be round or elongated, through which menstrual blood will flow. For a long time, it was believed that an intact hymen was evidence of a girl's virginity, as the hymen posed a barrier to sexual intercourse.

Some girls who are still virgins have no hymen at all

Girls who do have a hymen can "break (or pop) their cherry" in a number of differerent ways, sometimes without even knowing it. Some of the non-sexual ways in which a hymen will tear are: through an accident or injury, horseback riding, bicycling, high jumping, or gymnastics,

insertion of finger or instrument by doctor during

pelvic exam, tampon insertion, overzealous douching

Since an intact hymen can be stretched and split by an erect penis during sexual intercourse, a woman may feel momentary discomfort and/or bleed. On the other hand, there may be no blood or pain involved at all when the hymen is torn. It all depends on the female...each one is different. And it's likely she was a virgin when you had sex with her...due to her lack of experience.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2005):

A virgin is someone who hasn't had sex before! The fact that you had sex means that shes not a virgin anymore!

She possibly didn't bleed because her hymen was already broken - this is possible if you do a lot of horse riding or trampolining or gymnastics.

Dont worry - she is deffinately not a virgin anymore!

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A female reader, MyBeautifulRuin +, writes (22 July 2005):

most girls do bleed for the first time. it is unusual but it must be said that some girls dont bleed. the only way you'll be able to find out if she iwas or not is by asking. i know this isnt ideal, but it's the only way. just talk to her bout it, drop it into a conversation bout when you did it, and she her reaction. say that she didn't seem like a virgin or something and see what her reaction is. hopefully it'll show you the truth. good luck. xx

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