A
male
age
41-50,
*immyjames
writes:I love my wife. We have a great relationship, but no were near enough sex. I personally am up for it anytime anyplace. She also complains about not enough sex, but never initiates it. How can I change these things? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2012): Latti,
So as men, its never OK for us to want to be persued and be reminded that we too are desired and not just being allowed to thrust up and down on top of our wives?
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (29 January 2012):
 In my opinion, "Latti" nailed it right on. Women prefer to be pursued, rather than being the pursuer, at least most of the time. It's simply up to the man most of the time. Get with the program that has endured thousands of years.
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A
female
reader, Latti +, writes (29 January 2012):
I have the higher sex drive in my relationship & I to, don't feel its enough, however, I want him to initiate it. It makes me feel that he is still attracted to me. That he desires me as much as I desire him, but HE has to initiate it. I will give him all the sex he wants....but HE must pursue me.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2012): I am in a similar situation. And just because I want more sex doesn't mean I want more of the same sex. She wants more sex too but will do no more than say that she wants more. I want more too, but I want (and many other men want) to feel wanted. If I initiate all the time, it starts to feel like she's just letting me but doesn't necessarily want me. Her idea of initiating is to tell me "let's go to bed" at which point I still have to initiate the deed or go to sleep. Is it really to much to ask that she jump me from time to time? If she'd try pulling my pants off and getting me all worked up before asking me to come to bed, she might be surprised how quickly I got in there. And while we're on the topic, why does all sex have to go down in the bedroom? Again, more of the same.
Sorry to thread jack. I feel your pain OP.
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A
male
reader, mb129 +, writes (28 January 2012):
My wife has very rarely initiated, from dating through marriage. Just be glad she is looking for more sex and start intiating until you are satisfied with the amount, hopefully she won't be complaining that you are having too much sex!
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (28 January 2012):
 Sorry dude but you are going to have to be the initiator at all times. She may feel too shy to do it (this is a common feeling for women). The fact that she is complaining about not getting enough too is a big signal that she is also up for it whenever you offer.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (28 January 2012):
Seems apparent that your wife wants "you" to initiate. Many (or most) women are that way, and it is typical through history that women follow the lead of their men, such as in who leads in dancing. It's like, who is expected to approach whom in a social setting? The man leads the discourse. Get used to it. Be the man.
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