A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello Aunties,My problem is that I've never been actually 'asked out' till date! I'm 18, will be 19 soon. There have been guys who said they liked me but all they ever seemed to want from me was sex. They would chat me up till they got comfortable talking to me and then they would start talking dirty. I never got with any of them. I don't want to feel used and i'd rather save up my virginity for someone who i'll spend my life with. Its been the same with most of the guys i talk to!! I'm an emotional person and i get attached easily. Before the guy shows his real intention, i'm normally so attached to him that it gets difficult to stop talking even tho i know i have to. There was this case, where a guy only talked to me while he was single. As soon as he and his girl got back together, he'd push me up in a corner and never talk again..and this continued for quite some time, i was his break-up option!. I don't know what i'm doing wrong. Most of my friends always keep talking to guys and if they break up with one, there's always another waiting to ask them out! I agree i'm shy but I'm honestly sick of being all alone. About my appearance, i'm healthy and tall and have gotten compliments of being pretty. So i don't know if that affects it. I do go out to parties and try to socialize, but its the same everytime. All i want is someone who can love me for me and i can love back. Whats going wrong? :'(- Literally Forever Alone~
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 July 2012):
 You're the one who needs to start flirting and talking to guys. The girls you see who have guys waiting for them aren't really having guys lined up you know. It's just that they chat up the guys themselves, and then it appears to you as if they have guys waiting in line. No one has people waiting in line for them!
I've had several guys to choose from. One time I had six guys that had asked me on dates around the same time, I even went on two dates the very same day once. And it WASN'T because I was sitting quietly in a corner waiting for them to ask me. It was because I was being active, I made it possible for them to ask.
Guys don't just ASK a girl they like. Oh no. They wait for you to give them some signal, often a very obvious and blunt signal, that it is okay for them to ask you. You have to smile to them, sit close, talk about how much you'd love to go with them somewhere etc. You have to make it very clear that you will say YES if they were to ask you. If you don't make it obvious that you are interested in them then they wont ask you.
Guys are shy too you know. They will wait with asking. Many will not even TALK to you unless you have given them the sign that says it is okay. If you are only having sleazy men who are talking dirty, then you definitely should start to talk up guys yourself. Pick someone who you know is nice, then talk to him. Then give him the obvious signs, and then he will probably ask you out.
I am the same person today as I was back when I had six guys asking me out at the same time. But today I have no guys asking me out, and you know why? Because I haven't been active talking to other men, I'm not actively pursuing anyone. I'm still nice and friendly to people, but I am not giving out any signal that it is okay to ask me out. So they don't.
You have to be more active in the pursuit of a date. In reality it is the woman who chooses who she wants to go out with, and all you need to do is make it clear to the man you want that you want him to ask you out.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2012): Maybe you should stop letting guys treat you that way.. Tell them when they are in the wrong.. Don't let them talk dirty to you if you aren't dating them.. Have more self respect than that.. I don't personally know you, but I bet you're a great girl.. And you probably deserve more than that.. You will find the right guy someday.. I know it. Or you could just go gay and find the right girl someday. :P I wish you the best.(:
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