A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Right I have to vent, because this is just taking the biscuit. I'm sick of the same things day in day out, now I must admit that I may not be all out there but I'm just like every other guy.. well maybe not like EVERY guy, I am my own person although I share common interests such as football, music, working out etc. and can be quite funny. I believe that i'm probably not the best looking guy in the world but I wouldn't say that i'm anywhere near repulsive, i've noticed girls noticing me if you know what i mean and i've also been told that i am good looking and that i'll have no problems finding a girl. but that's the problem I can't find one and have never had a girlfriend, and even if i do get talking with a girl she'll have a boyfriend already or something that stops me from getting out of the 'friend zone' or if she's single they'll already be a queue as long as the great wall of china of guys that have already 'claimed' her and feel as though they have special rights to her and everyone else can just beat it. i am 18 years old nearly 19 and from the UK which means that i can drink in pubs but the problem is, is that my friends are either strapped for cash, busy or just generally not in the mood for going out which causes a problem because nobody really goes to a pub/club on their own, or do they? so basically what i'm saying is, what do I do, is anyone else out there in the same situation? etc. because i may be wrong but i feel as though i should be doing loads of stuff before its too late at this age, i don't want to get to a certain age and think wow, ive done nothing and i'm with nobody. everything else in life is fine but it's just this sorta side of things that really gets me down, to the point where i feel as though life isn't worth it because there's no enjoyment. it is literaly just do what i have to do and go home and quite frankly i've had enough.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012): Join a club, a dating website, but as the previous poster said you can meet girls everywhere. The advantage of meeting girls without a dating website is that it's more relaxed. The most attractive guys to me are those who are themselves and enjoy life. Just don't seem too desperate, we usually notice it and it can be a bit of a turn off. Be friendly and see where it goes! Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012): Unless you're a lothario then going to a club on your own is going to make you seem creepy and weird when people ask who you came with.
OP enjoying life is nothing to do with romance or having a girlfriend, being single is just as much fun and even more fun in a lot of ways.
You sound exactly like one of my college friends, she's the exact same as you and only a couple of years older. Like you she has this insane idea that life is about filling in as many things as possible, that life is shit without romance and love and she gets very frustrated and depressed when there's nothing really going on.
With her she can't enjoy anything though unless it's a profound thing worthy of a whole set of facebook pictures. It's like she doesn't even want to enjoy her life for her, she wants to enjoy it the way she thinks she's supposed to and she misses out on all the little beautiful things in life. Basically OP life just isn't enough for her and she wants more.
You know what the funny thing is, she's insanely jealous of my life because of all the things I do yet she can do all of those too it's just never enough for her and she always has an excuse as to why she can't. Me and my girlfriend went sky diving last week, we found a cheap offer and invited her and few other friends and she refused. Then she just said she wished she did. The week before that we had a roadtrip for 4 days around Ireland and again she could have come but she refused using another pointless excuse. Even if she doesn't like those things then she could at least go do things she enjoys but like you she'd rather moan about how shit and boring life is than actually go out there and experience it.
Pubs and clubs aren't the only thing to enjoy in life. I've done the things I listed above and in the month of August, I climbed a huge hill with my girlfriend and we were going to have a picnic up there but the wind was so fierce we had to cower behind a bush up there just to be able to relax and decided to get wasted drunk instead and pretty much fall all the way back down. She was away for a couple of weeks for work and in that time I went fishing on the coast, I went to a RC aeroplane clubs day and watched them fly mini jets around the place and had a barbeque. I went to a skate competition, I went to three gigs, an art exhibition, went and watched a friend act in a local play, visited a new exhibit in my local museum, went paintballing with a group of friends and spent some lovely days taking my dogs for walks in a forest and spending time playing with them in the garden and stuff.
My point is OP you think your life sucks because you think the only fun things to do are go to pubs, clubs and get girls. You probably look at peoples pictures of nights out on facebook and think you're somehow missing out. You're only barely 18 and somehow think you should be living a mad party lifestyle like some kind of American movie. Well I can tell you the best places to meet girls are everywhere in your life, not just pubs or clubs and those girls you think have guys queuing up, well jump to the fecking front of the queue then OP and start getting to work.
I met women at that skate comp, was talking to one for an hour who had obvious interest was disappointed when I said I was spoken for. I got chatting to other women at the art and museum things, the gigs. They're half the population of this planet OP it's not hard to meet and talk to them.
You like football then go join the local team, make new friends that way that like to go out on the session. You like working out go to the gym, plenty of girls there you could talk to. You like music then start going to local gigs, not weird to be on your own at those seeing as you're there to see a band and get talking to girls there.
If you're getting friend zoned then you're doing it wrong, you're either not romancing them early enough, flirting and making moves or you're wasting your time on girls that aren't interested in you.
It's simple, don't like something in your life then get out there and change it. No use moaning and complaining when all of this stuff is easily fixed with a bit of time, intelligence and determination.
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