A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Bit of a mess...I've been seeing a guy as a very casual relationship, it was agreed it wasn't to be serious, and that we weren't limited to just seeing each other, but it kind of didn't end up that way for me because I've never been the type to play the field.Anyway, as the months have gone on he has become more and more distant, I see him a few times a week now, we have sex maybe once twice a week at the most, which is all very well and good, but not very emotionally satisfying.A few weeks ago I started seeing an old flame, just as friends, I was in love deeply with this guy from many years and he broke my heart by cheating on me and generally messing me around, it was a frought relationship but we loved each other dearly and split up on ok grounds, remaining friends but at a distance, we have grown close, and around the first week of september ended up in bed together. He has asked if we can maybe work things through and eventually within some time end up back as a couple.i dont know what to do, Im treading on dangerous ground seeing two people at once, but neither of them want me exclusively, but then again neither of them know about each other either. The one ive been seeing a few months is satisfying me sexually but not in any other way, the other one has the potiental to do both.I feel like im filthy and disgusting dating them both at the same time despite the fact neither expects anything from me.What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think saying I'm meesed up is a bit harsh?
Im well aware of std's I am carefull, it is the feelings that are involved that are the issue
I have slowly fazed the guy who i was originally seeing out, as he seems to have only his own interests at heart. I still dont really know what to do with the old flame but am currently seeing neither of them which has made it a lot easier to make decisions.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): you are messed up , even the guys just want to play with you and you'll end up to nothing...beware of STD 'S .
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (19 September 2007):
 You'll have to stop seeing one of them. Did you ever think that the reason you feel filthy and dirty is because you have crossed over, or violated your own moral beliefs, and your integrity. You can't see yourself playing the field because it's not what you believe in doing. That's what I would do, stop seeing one of them. And with the ex, you loved him, but he couldn't have loved you getting it multiple other places while being with you. Someone who really loves you, won't cause you any of that pain.
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A
female
reader, Gemini1506 +, writes (18 September 2007):
Stop having sex with em. That feeling is not worth it on all levels. See what they can give you on a none physical level if it fulfils you in that way then talk to them and see where they want to go. If it wont go no further than sex seriously end those casual relationships. It may hurt but it will hurt more if you stay with them.
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