A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I just cant win. Men have told me to hold back when giving sex-but when one holds back then a man isn't interested in getting to know you!If I hold back they automatically think I am looking for a husband (I am divorced and dont want a husband) but then if I were to give in at the first opportunity (which I have done in the past) you dont see them for dustWHAT is the sensible answer please. Should I give in straight away or not? I am NOT looking for a husband believe me but it would be nice to meet someone who liked ME for what I am and get to know me and not just clear off after sex!many thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2009): Dont give in to sex straight away. If a guy really likes you he will respect that you want to wait a while. If he doesnt want to get to know you first and he goes because you arent offering sex, then hes clearly not interesred in you as a person and hes not worth worrying about. A decent guy will get to know you first, decide he really likes you and take things slowly out of respect for you.
A
male
reader, Alligator  +, writes (27 December 2009):
I am over 50. If I was 30 and you gave away to quickly I would probably think you were really into me. Since I am who I am my 1st thought would be how many others have had their way. Be patient. If he's really worth it he will also be patient.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 December 2009):
 Poster, I think you have answered your own question. I also recommend that you don't give in right away. The guy who is interested in you, marriage or not, will stick around.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2009): How does it make you feel when you do give in and then they disappear? If it makes you feel bad, then I would not do it. I personally, would not give in to a man right away with sex anyway, and honestly would not care if he thought I was looking for marriage. I like a man that does not just want sex right away, so a man that holds back would be more appealing to me. I would not be so concerned with what the man thinks, but what will help you feel good about yourself. It is about self preservation in life. Best of luck out there!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2009): Thanks for your replies very helpful and appreciated
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2009): If you hold off the sex without saying anything about it, they make think you see them as a friend only. A guy doesn't know he is actually sexually desireable (a man) to you until he knows sex is going to happen.
So if you tell him something like, 'I want to wait 4 weeks before having sex so we can get to know each other', then they will be more accepting, and the ones who aren't so into who you are will drop off.
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