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My wife is passive in bed!

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Question - (15 June 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 15 June 2009)
A male Finland age 41-50, *ohn73 writes:

My problem is that my wife is passive in bed. She basically likes all kinds of favors and we both have orgasm. Unfortunately her activity is mostly limited to turning to nice position and squeezing her vagina.

We had talked about this and she admits she is lazy. I have sometimes tried to talk about it, but I can't enjoy myself if I know she does something even if she doesn't like it.

We have been together 14 years and we have one child. I want better sex life and I would love to have it with her, but I will get divorce if our sex doesn't improve. Please help!

View related questions: divorce, orgasm, sex life, vagina

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A male reader, John73 Finland +, writes (15 June 2009):

John73 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for replies! She already knowns I would like her to be more active: anything other than just asking in what position I want to have sex this time. She knows I would love to be kissed all around my body (and she could choose any spot, I am not talking about IT here). She knows I love oral sex (which I give her and she has returned the favor occasionally years ago and she says there is no problem because she would hate it or anything). She knows I would love manual (hand) stimulation (which I give her and again this is something which is ok for her to return the favor). So far it seems to me that she really is little lazy, but I am sure that's not the whole truth.

My current plan is to start proposing various things until I either hit the jackpot or I run out of ideas. What else can I do? Any good books? Websites?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009):

tell her your unhappy and go to a sex consellor together, tell her you would "consider" divorce if this isn't sorted so she knows how serious you are.

give her the opportunity to make things right

at least this way you will get unbiased advice to help you both enjoy your sex life

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A female reader, ilovebowsandcherries United Kingdom +, writes (15 June 2009):

ilovebowsandcherries agony auntwhy don't you tell her about new ways you would like to try out with her?

or perhaps see a counsellor about these sex things...

maybe they can help her realise you've got needs.

perhaps a marriage counsellor can make her more active towards you in bed.

worth a shot.

hope this helps.

x

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