A
female
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anonymous
writes:Hello,I posted before about my mother trying to evict both my fiancee and I, now, I'm going to try my best to keep everything in order so you guys and gals don't get confused...I had started looking for another place, surprisingly enough I have found quite a few landlords who were willing to work with me on keeping my pets...Anyway, my mother sent me an email (several actually) stating that she doesn't want to have to help me pay the rent, and to use her words. "I didn't want to admit I was wrong and apologise" I sent her a reply stating that I wasn't going to go back and forth on an email, and that if she wanted to get in touch with me she could at least have the common courtesy to pick up the phone...I left it at that and went about my day, and about an hour later I got a call from my father saying that I should have given her some of the money from the settlement we used to fix the car...I got exasperated and hung up on him...saying nothing.I then got an IM from my younger brother who blatantly called me a liar and asked me to list every part we fixed on the car and the cost...he then proceeded to tell me I had gotten ripped off and that there was no way I could have spent that much on it.at this point I was in tears, I've never told a lie before, I see no reason to do so. Later that night I got a knock on the door, it was my older brother. I didn't answer it because at that point I felt like I was going to snap.He waited outside for my fiancee to get home from his job interview..they took a ride in the car and discussed what I had told Shaun about what happened with my mom. My older brother called me a liar and siad I was just "dramatic and needed tough love"Now, please understand, I suffered great physical and mental abuse at the hands of my mother, so to have him say this was a stab in the heart.When my fiance came home he acted as if nothing was wrong and told me he had taken care of it, since he had given my brother some money to take back to my mom.I showed him the emails and the IM from my family, and he told me I was just being overly dramatic and that my mom couldn't be that bad.I lost it, I had the worst panic attack, I couldn't breathe, couldn't see, and couldn't feel anything. He stood there and watched me, and said nothing until much later.Then this morning I got another email from my mother, I'll post it here : what diffrence does it make. the fact of the matter is you were wrong. and you didnt want to admit it. you jumped the gun . you said some really mean things. and I know for a fact you have been lying to your boyfriend. about everthing. remember all i have to do is call the condo assoc. and tell them you have animals . you would be out so fast your eyeballs would spin. I have no sympathy for you. your boyfriend has told your brother somethings you do and say. I say you had better watch your step because your boyfriend may see the real you. the one just like my sister. who spends her whole life blaming her parents. and like your father who thinks he is always right and never appologises. little miss anti social who dosent need anyone or anything. but cant live with out what her mother gives her. YOU HAVE A LOT OF NERVE. I DONT KNOW IF I CAN FORGIVE YOU . BECAUSE I DONT TRUST YOU . I BELIEVE YOU WILL TREAT ME LIKE THIS AGAIN IF I LET YOU. I CAN ONLY HOPE your boyfiend SOMEHOW GETS YOU OUT OF MY CONDO SO I NEVER HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR VULGAR VILE TEMPER AGAIN. YOUR X MOTHERApparently my fiancee thinks I'm a liar too...What should I do about this? I feel like I'm alone and I've got no one to turn to who understands..help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThings have just gone from bad to worse, my mother keeps harassing me with emails saying that I'm materialistic and the if I don't watch my step my boyfirend may walk out on me like he has done in the past...
Apparently on that car ride he took with my brother he painted me to be a greedy, dramatic, money hungry perosn. When I asked him why he would do that, he said he didn't want to have my mom angry at him, so he sacrificed me to save himself.
I am a complete loss here about what to do...
Part of me wants to just give my mother the rent and go on like I'm fine, the other half of me wants to tell them all to shove it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2006): all of these people sound like they're no good for you at this point in your life. what i would do in your situation is try to start over. perhaps living by yourself would be step one. have you looked for inexpensive places that you would be able to afford without financially depending on anyone else? if you can't find an apartment, many times people rent rooms in houses out for much cheaper than any apartment would be. the only potential problem there would be your animals. if you cannot find any of those, try taking a look at roommate wanted ads in your paper or online. it sounds like your fiance is being pulled in both directions - by you and your family. it's understandable that he doesn't want to cause tension and just "go with the flow," but he should really be there for you and try to back you up in this case, especially when you have a panic attack in front of him. This is serious and you need some kind of love and support in your life right now. So, like I said, perhaps getting a fresh start and ceasing contact with these people until you get your head clear would be a good idea for now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2006): You can't do much of anything. Since no one is listening to you, then there is no point in trying sit down and talk. You boyfriend doesn't know the things you've been through, and though I'm sure there are many other 'possibilities' of who you are and what you do/have done, what you can really only do is just not bother interacting with your family again. If worst comes to worst, you might also want to reconsider your relationship with your bf.
Since it also seems like you have some internal lingering problems, you might also want to reflect, reaccess yourself, and possibly find new mediums to help rebuild your shattered insides.
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A
male
reader, Y2K +, writes (1 August 2006):
be confident who you are is what matters not what they think about you there is one who do not disapoint nor fair he is always there for you JESUS
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