A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I’ve been with my partner now for 5 years, she has 2 children from her previous marriage a boy that’s 10 and a girl that’s nearly 13. We are all very close. My partner and I had a baby of our own last year and he’s now 16 months old, he’s my absolute world!!I’m just really struggling as I’m not getting a look in with our baby as the other two are constantly in his face, I thought that the novelty would wear off but it’s just not. It’s obviously a good thing that they both love him but I just don’t get a look in as when i get a bit of time to play with him, they come over and divert his attention away. I’ve tried playing with them together and he’s just not interested in me. I love him so much and want to build a bond with him and I see each day that passes as precious time.I don’t know what to do or say but I just feel really upset by it. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2022): Furthermore, a baby-brother is not a "novelty;" he's an addition to the family! They waited 9 months for his arrival! He's the present you gave them that will last for the rest of their lives! Maybe it's also time for a puppy or a kitten! There may come a time in the future when keeping them together will be a struggle. Enjoy it while you can, my dear fellow! He's your son for the rest of your life too!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2022): P.S.
They are also a little afraid that you'll love him more because he's "yours." There is a problem in some blended-families where the kids are divided into "yours" and "mine."
If you have a great relationship with them, you can sit and explain to them that you love them as your own. To behave as though they're stealing your child from you is being more childish than they are. If you want a balanced and happy family; don't divide in your heart, your family is a unit.
You married their mother, and they had to learn to share her with you; even though they already have a dad.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2022): "Hey, you guys, let dad have a little time with your little brother, and later we'll all go out for ice cream!"
Older kids will have their friends to distract them; or their phone and gaming time.
I think there is also a little sibling rivalry going-on; they are purposely pulling him away from you. Kids are sometimes a little devious, but not on an adult level. They do adore their brother; but seeing parents doting over him all the time gets on their nerves, so they are intervening/interrupting when they see he's about to draw attention to himself. It's what I call being "nice-nasty." Disguising something mean as good.
Don't behave like a jealous or victimized adult, they are only children. You have authority to send them out to play or to do other things when it's time to bond with their brother.
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (18 August 2022):
 That does sound frustrating but the silver lining i that his half-siblings love and adore him.
Could you not take him for a walk (him in a stroller) to a park or something just the two of you?
School is starting up too for the two older ones.
Or maybe talk to your wife, have her take the older ones out for a movie/matinee or something and you stay home with the little man.
Or you can talk to your wife about YOU being the one putting him to bed, so bathe, read a story and tuck him in?
The two older ones are not doing this to be mean, they just genuinely want to spend time with him. And that IS a plus.
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