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female
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*wimGirl26380
writes: My soulmate is married to someone else. I am trying so hard to let him go so I can move on. Let me explain briefly why I feel he is my soulmate. When I was a teenager (I am now in my late 20's), we had a very strong connection and he would often say to me and my family that he wanted to marry me. 2 years ago, I felt an enormous sense of joy - unbelievable - and he made a surprise visit to my family and I that afternoon! I hadn't seen him for about 8 years! Recently, over the past couple of years, we have emailing each other (not often - maybe 7-10 times a year). We have both expressed mutual interest/attraction to each other. However, he chooses to stay married. Since it is his choice, I want to choose to move on, but am finding it very difficult. I am engaged to someone else but don't feel the connection with this person that I feel with my soul mate. Can my soulmate really be married to someone else, or am I denying myself my real soulmate?
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female
reader, SwimGirl26380 +, writes (13 July 2006):
SwimGirl26380 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you both for your responses! I do agree with both of you. I think what I need to think about and consider is not whether or not my soulmate truly is my soulmate that I should marry, but whether my fiance is who I should marry. Basically, I agree with you and I need to readjust what I am focusing on. No matter what and how much I feel for my "soulmate", all I really need to know is that he didn't choose me - pure, plain, and simple. I would still appreciate other responses though! Thanks!
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (12 July 2006):
 Hi dear,
Whilst i feel you sincerely have stronger attraction/feelings towards this guy i sincerely dont believe he feels exactly the same way as you. Dont get me wrong i know he has sone feelings for you because both of you must have been very close once but if at all he really did believe he was indeed your soulmate he wouldnt want to stay married. He wouldnt even have married his wife in the first place he would have come back for you.
I know this is difficult to hear but i want you to realise this so that you dont waste you time and life mending a broken heart or waiting for someone who has effortlessly moved on with his life.
Again you mentioned communication lapses throughout your entire friendship. Alot of people change over the years and the person you might think you know some years back might really be different from the person they are now.
I agree with Dr pete here if the case is that you dont have a deeper feelings towards your fiancee doesnt imply you cant have a deeper feelings in any other relationship. It could mean that you are possibly with the wrong guy. SO you have to decide what you feel for your fiancee and what to do whether to get married or not.
It is your decision to make but my advise is that i do believe you can feel that way again and can find someone else. take care and i wish you all the best.
KElly
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2006): You're assuming a few things here:
1) You only have one soul mate.
2) You're supposed to marry, or have a sexual or physically intimate relationship with a soul mate.
Why would you assume this?
It is far more likely there is more than one soul mate for you, and also you don't necessarily have to pursue marriage or a relationship with a soul mate.
If he is married, and chooses to stay married, I think you need to accept that fact and have more strength in knowing you will find that connection with someone else. If your fiancee does not provide this, then please don't marry him thinking he's your second-best option!
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