A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dont really know where to start. I have recently lost the love of my life. We were together for nearly 3years and perfect for eachother so happy and never made eachother mad or upset for that long. Never any trust issues were always true to eachother. We lived together at first but for the last 1.5years we have been long distance seeing eachother for about a week each month which has been hard but we were so strong that and we loved eachother so much that we made it work. I am currently looking for a job in her city and have been for the past 6months but with the current economy have been unable to find one. She recently told me kind of out of nowhere that she needs time to be alone and figure out what she really wants. I guess she never really has had any free time to herself throughout her life and hasnt really taken that time i guess. I just dont know what to do though becuase she truly is my soulmate and I need her in my life. I dont want to be with anyone else. I have been with a lot of women and have had my share of relationships and I know shes the only one for me. I am so lost and I feel so empty without her. We have talked and she wants to give some time for "disconnection" but i am so scared if i let that happen that she will be gone forever. What should i do? I love her so much and i cannot stand to lose her. I have told her Im willing to do any and everything. What can i do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2011): You do know that her "seeing other people" will almost surely include having sex with them, don't you?
If you can't get her to declare, "I will absolutely not have sex with any other people" out loud ahead of time, then you should assume she will do it.
A
male
reader, db1985 +, writes (25 May 2011):
Yes that is very true. There are no expectations with this break. If it takes her seeing other people to realize what she wants then that is fine. It is necessary for her. She's in a place where she is dealing with a lot of family things and the long time that we were not living together i think took quite a toll on her. So im guessing she needs time to figure out what she really wants before we jump head-on into more serious relationship (ie marriage and such). I have gotten all of my feelings out there to her over a phone conversation and told her i will try my best to give her the space she needs although it will be very hard and difficult.I told her we will see each other again. Im sure of it as our feelings are way too strong and we are perfect. She has to have this break to figure herself out. All i can do now is give her the time and space she needs while working on myself and at my own life and put myself in a situation where we can be succesful together again as a couple down the road.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2011): There are two kinds of breaks, those that allow seeing other people and those that don't. You had better be completely sure which kind of break that she intends for this to be.
Don't assume that she would not see other people just because you don't want to see other people. If she matched all your feelings right now then this break would not even be happening.
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A
male
reader, db1985 +, writes (25 May 2011):
its so hard i am just so scared that the disconnection that she wants will allow us to grow apart. Im lost. Shes literally amazing. I just want to pack up and head right over there.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2011): Yes I know thats what they say but it is just so hard. I dont want to allow any disconnection as Im scared that it will allow us to grow apart? I know to keep texting and sending her emails isnt really the answer either as it will prob just annoy her? I just want to move there and start our life again. I miss her so much its terrible.
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A
male
reader, goalstopper +, writes (25 May 2011):
There's a saying, "If you love somebody, let them go. If they come back, than it will last forever. but if they don't than it was never meant to be."If you respect her space, then hopefully if it's true love than she will come back. It's going to be hard but hopefully if you give her what she wants she'll realize it over time.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2011): there is a saying: if you love someone, you have to let it go and if it comes back, it's yours forever and if it doesn't it was never meant to be.
If your "soulmate" wants alone time and disconnection, hopefully if you do that she will see what you are willing to do for her. But if she doesn't come back. then, although sad, it wasn't meant to be.
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