| A
female
,
sibaan
writes: I live in South Africa and am currently studying. I turn 18 next month and i want to know what age i am legally aloud to leave home and live with my boyfriend? my parents say i cant live with a guy until im married or 21! please help, i want out of my parents house in November this year after my studies. If I stay here after November i have to pay rent anyway so whats the difference?? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ariel  +, writes (7 June 2006):
 Hi,
I too grew up in S.A. and had very strict parents. I was 17yrs old and had to be home by 10pm.I rebelled and had a boyfriend who was 7 yrs older than me.Well you can just emagine how that went down the more they put there foot down the worse I got. Anyway enough about me. I think your parents love you very much and are scared of the choices you want to make . You need to call a meeting and explain to them that you are turning 18 and will paying rent ,so you would like independance and understanding and if they can make an effort to accept your boyfriend.Ask them what they are so worried about.
Moving in with your boyfriend is a mistake as what if it all goes wrong where will you go? Will your parents take you back? What about further education a matric is not enough in S.A.
Communication is important. Your parents are trying to protect you and are going about it in the wrong way.
Good luck!!
A
female
reader, ariel +, writes (7 June 2006):
Hi, I too grew up in S.A. and had very strict parents. I was 17yrs old and had to be home by 10pm.I rebelled and had a boyfriend who was 7 yrs older than me.Well you can just emagine how that went down the more they put there foot down the worse I got. Anyway enough about me. I think your parents love you very much and are scared of the choices you want to make . You need to call a meeting and explain to them that you are turning 18 and will paying rent ,so you would like independance and understanding and if they can make an effort to accept your boyfriend.Ask them what they are so worried about. Moving in with your boyfriend is a mistake as what if it all goes wrong where will you go? Will your parents take you back? What about further education a matric is not enough in S.A. Communication is important. Your parents are trying to protect you and are going about it in the wrong way.Good luck!!
...............................
A
female
reader, Smiler +, writes (7 June 2006):
 Hey sweetie
well i honestly think your parents are just worrying thats what parents do i'm afraid to say, i completely agree with dr psych its much better to have your folks concerned about your welfare than them not being bothered at all and letting you get up to all sorts,
honey you are the only person who truely knows whether your ready for such a big step or not but if you are determined to move in with him regardless of what your parents advise i would sit down with them first have a good heart to heart with them explain how your just growing up now and want to feel you own way in the world and try independance see how it works out for you but you would be happier in this venture if you had their 100% blessing tell them it means alot to you ok don't just go and disregard their feelings cause that would be hurtful and disrespectful after all they love you and they brought you into the world you should always respect them for that ok :-)
i hope my advice was able to help you out a little, good luck sweetie... if you ever need a friend or a chat or just more advise or a sounding board don't hesitate to email me ok sweetie i'm always here for you ok
You Take Care Sweetie
...............................
A
female
reader, DrPsych + ♥, writes (7 June 2006):
 Your parents are just being protective (overprotective?). Some of the posts I read on this board are about much younger girls getting into all sorts of situations they shouldnt be and I ask myself where are the parents? At least in your case you know they love you, and are trying to protect you. Although 18 is technically an adult some people at that age are really mature, while others are not so. Moving in together can be a big commitment in itself - dating is great as you get all the best bits of them, and then go home to your mothers cooking! Living with them is living with their smelly socks, snoring, paying the rent and sharing the daily drudge of life. Only you can tell if you are ready for that. If your parents are being overprotective then of course you are entitled to take a stand for your independence and move out. However, you don't want to burn your bridges with them so why not get a flat on your own. I moved out at 18 because my mother was driving me nuts, but I moved back in with my family a year later when the money run out and the novelty of independence ran out!
At least you and your BF can get some privacy if you get a flat, without having to commit to the whole shared tenancy thing - at least if you get a small place on your own then if your relationship goes wrong in the future you won't be fighting over who gets the sofa, or who owes the rent! Your parents will see that you are independent and capable of living by yourself and then perhaps your BF can move in later?
...............................
|
