A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey,I'm kinda in rut now and i need advice pronto! I dated this guy for about 2 years, even though my parents did not approve of the relationship. Ever since then, my parents stopped trusting me. It was hell for me. When i'm out with friends, my parents think i'm lying. they took my phone away. they didn't talk to me. Now, i have gotten back with him and im constantly in fear of my parents finding out, but im too in love to back out now. I would love to hear your thoughts and advice on this. Thank you. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2011): What Dorothy Dix says absolutely correct, do what she says to gain trust first then, seek for parents approval, unless you gain trust from your parent, you can not get solution for your problem and once solved you will be very happy
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (9 April 2011):
Hello again. What I suggest you do is, bring him around to your parents' house - unannounced - one night and introduce him to them.Let them get to know him and what he does for a living, what makes him tick.It will also give your parents a chance to see how well he treats you and how happy you are together.This is your life, and so who you choose for your partner is entirely up to you - not them, no-one else whatsoever.Just do it.If you don't do it, well then it puts into question how genuine you really are about how you feel towards him, don't you think? You have to stand up for what you believe in - it's important.If you don't, you might regret it for the rest of your life.There comes a time in everyone's life, where we each have to make important decisions for ourselves, and let our own heart be our guide. Not our parents! You are after all, 21 years old. You are legally a responsible adult.If you feel strongly towards him and he treats you well, the world needs to see that for themselves. Your parents need to also.They can't accept him if they have never met him, can they now?
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (5 April 2011):
 Choose between true love or racism. It is your choice. Know that they are bigots and you love this guy who supposedly treats you right. If he does treat you right, then disappoint the people that treat you wrong.
Marrying to satisfy your parents and the social pressure to be with the same race are both insane reasons to marry.
Marry for love. Marry for joy. Marry for happiness. Marry and enjoy a relationship, because you want it and because you want the man.
Best of luck, and I hope you make the right decision.
-IHateWomanBeaters
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm an Asian. So, approval from parents is a must in order to be in a relationship. I'm 21, and my parents do not allow me to date. They never even met him, or sat down to get to know him. The reason why they forced me to end my relationship is because we are both of different races. So now you tell me, how am i suppose to come clean with my parents when i know the answer will be no. Ive tried it, it didn't work out.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (3 April 2011):
Hi there. The only way is to just come right out and tell your parents.
If you are completely honest with them and tell them everything, then they will begin to trust you.
They don't have to like who you choose to go out with, but the most likely cause of them not approving of him, might be because he's not treating you well enough. They are looking out for you, you can be sure of that.
While ever you are sneaking around behind their backs, you are not being trustworthy at all.
Trust is what you want, isn't it? Trust and respect from your parents.
If you want to be trusted by your parents, you need to be open and honest about what you do and where you go and who you are with. Be someone who can be trusted.
If you are where you tell them you are, and are who you say you are with - and where - well then, over time your parents will start to trust you again. However, it will take time.
Trust can only develop with complete honesty, at all times.
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