A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need help with this please, it's about my mom, she's driving crazy with all of her complaints about how tired she is about her job. She works all the time, that's the only thing she does. Right now I'm on vacation from university and I spend most of my day with her (either helping her with her work or just giving her company), and all she talks about it's that she is tired, that hasn't slept cuz she was awake late working, or how early she has to wake up to start working again, she says that she is sick of driving to her work and then back home and things like this. This goes on and on and on and it's like the 90% of what we talk. What can I tell her to stop this?? I do want to give her emotional support and I the that she suffers like this, but all I hear it's this negativity and I can't deal with this anymore You probably need this background info:I know exactly how much she makes and how much we spend, I know we would be ok if she worked a bit less in order to be less stressed.I'm 20 years old, I'd love to, but I can't get a job to help her financially because I'm studying, in my country it's almost impossible to work while studying engineering. People usually get their first job at 23-24 y/o after being graduated. (and it's totally normal to find a 27 y/o living with her/his parents, its in increadibly hard to move out)My dad died some years ago, so my mom has full responsibility for what we spend and need
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2013): As a part Venezuelan female: She feeds you, cl9thes you, and gives you everything. Want to help?get a scholarship or something to lift the financial burden.Seriously, don't come with the same job excuse because of lack of time. You can get a weekend job doing anything like working retail for the weekends, on a clothing store. Hell, you can even go out and sell arepas on the street.Sounds to me you don't want to work because it's beneath you and your career to get a menial job.Face it being your age and expecting your mother to foot all the bills is irrational. When YOU work wll the time THEN you will get it, you will get how hard and tiring it is.I hope at least you are doing ALL of the housework!!!!!! Something tells me she comes from work to make you dinner. If you are only studying then you must have a perfect grade average.your mom could even be going through menopause.So yeah, pretty much find out what she dislikes about it and hear her out. I mean she supports your whole schooling, thr least you can do is be patient and hear her vent her feelings... If you cannot take it you could always move out, work, and go to a state school.be more grateful, it's not her obligation to help you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2013): I think you need to be more understanding of your mom - since your dad passed away, she took on the full role of breadwinner and she is making sure you will never go without. The fact you are "comfortable" is because SHE is working her butt off to ensure it stays that way. You may find she could work a little less, but maybe she is scared or making sure even if there are emergencies, it will always be ok. Also, she is probably using work as a healer to get over the loss of her husband. In work, she found a way to "survive". The fact she complains is her way to de-stress. Perhaps also to assuage her guilt feelings. She is only human and feels the physical limitations of working so hard.Respect her work ethic, be proud of her for looking after you, that you are not in dire straights, and that she is making sure you get the future you want.At the same time, it can't be easy hearing about the struggles and tiredness, so perhaps have a heart to heart with her when you find a good moment where you are both comfortable to talk freely. Share how you feel, and give her the opportunity to share her side. Maybe she wants more help at home? More support? More concern for her? she is not superwoman, so make sure you are pulling your weight as you are at home. Don't take anything for granted, and be blessed you have the mom you do.It's all about perspective, and being considerate, and grateful.
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