A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 years now; I'm 21, he's 25. We are high school sweet hearts, blah, blah, blah... I moved 30 miles away from home a year ago to transfer colleges and at the beginning, of course, I was scared of the change because of the distance, but we've made it work, but come August, he's moving 200 miles away for school/ air force boot camp. And to top it off, after his 3 years of schooling, he's going into the air force for at least 10 years.So with the back story out of the way.... I have been hinting at marriage and what not, and some say I shouldn't because I'm going to scare him away, and some say that if I don't, then he won't think about it. I don't want either to happen, and whenever I bring up such topics in conversation, it's almost as if he's talking to a guy friend about it instead of his girlfriend of 6 years; I feel like he's not taking it serious. I don't want to be pushy and I don't mind waiting for him, but I don't think I can wait for 13 more years.Opinion? Insight? Happy face/ frowny face? Any response is welcome.Thanks for your time.-Possible Pushy Girl Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (15 July 2013):
I don't think that getting married or engaged is the issue here, I think the issue is where are you going from here. I think that 21 is too early to get engaged/married especially since you are high school sweethearts, aren't done school, haven't started careers, etc. etc. The options are not married now versus married 13 years later. What about all the years in between?
The issue here that you guys need to deal with is where does this relationship go from here? Up until now you have either been in the same place together, or 30 miles away from each other. Now, the distance will be much greater for 3 years, and then who knows after that? If you finish school before he does, where will you go? Will you move to be in his town while he finishes school? What about when he finishes school and is in the air force? Will you move to whatever place he gets posted to? And continue to move around the country for 10 years? I mean, is he really only going to stay for 10 years or might he stay in the air force for longer?
I'm a military wife, so I know the hardships that come from being with someone in the military. And getting engaged/married before you experience some of that and really have an idea of what you're getting into is not a good idea.
Figure out where your relationship is going and how you are going to keep it alive. If you guys do keep it going, then maybe 3-5 years from now is when marriage might start to be a good idea. If both of you are willing to work through this long distance patch and deal with the air force issues with moving and being deployed, etc., then chances are that marriage will come in time.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 July 2013):
 if you can't talk to your boyfriend of 6 years about what you want in the future, then I'm concerned it's not a good relationship.
stop HINTING... this is the 21st century. if you WANT to marry HIM ASK HIM.
be prepared for him to say no.
but you are correct after 6 years together being apart for 13 more years seems an incredible waste of time....
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