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female
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*vanna22
writes: When I was 13 my mom and I got in an arguement and she told me I was so ugly. Her saying that had absolutely nothing to do with what we were arguing about. I actually can't even remember what we were arguing about, but I do remember her telling me that and I still think about it sometimes and it hurts. I'm 21 years old now, and I feel like my mom doesn't think i'm good enough 8( On the other hand, my aunt and even strangers tell me i'm beautiful all the time and that I sould do modelling. So i'm really confused. My moms words are more important to me than other people but I was thinking maybe she's got some issues. Can a mom be jealous of her own daughter???
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female
reader, kias2011  +, writes (19 June 2009):
 No its not silly at all im 16&& my mom insults me by calling me fat all the time.God thinks your beautiful no matter what anyone else says && thats all that matters!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): No, it's not silly. My mother has insulted me my whole life. When I had kids of my own I decided to cut the ties a bit. She's still nasty but I limit my time around her. Yes, she's probably jealous. When I wanted to go to college my mother told me she would cut me off completly because she didn't go to college and I'm not any better than her. Needless to say I put myself through college and am glad I did. Let it go, it's not your issue, it's your mother's.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): 8 years ago and you still think about it?
Haven't you ever said anything you regret in an argument or are you perfect?
This is a bit silly.
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female
reader, pebble  +, writes (8 June 2009):
 This poster only ever likes it when people say what she wants to hear. It's come accross that she has a lot of problems, but wants people to say "there there, it's everyone elses fault but yours" when actually some of them might actually be her own fault. It's evident in all her other questions aswell.
It's the people who are replying to her that are wasting their time.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/said-hed-text-me-but-he-hasnt-yet.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/sad-and-depressed-and-cant-cope.html
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female
reader, Ivanna22 +, writes (8 June 2009):
Ivanna22 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks Full moon temptress1 I liked your advice you seem to understand how I feel.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): Shame on you,Ivanna! :) You and I go a long ways back. In the past, I have answered your postings and you have never been this rude to the Aunts. I would've expected you to appreciate the voluntary time, these advisors put in, just for your benefit. Frankly, I am surprised with this ungracious, rude behavior of yours. No one here was rude to you..so why don't you back it up a bit and act with a more gracious attitude. You can disagree all you want with advice given to you...but you could've made the better more mature, choice to not say anything at all.
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female
reader, Ivanna22 +, writes (8 June 2009):
Ivanna22 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni'm wasting my time with you people.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2009): Did she mean you were ugly on the inside, at that time? Maybe it had nothing to do with your actual looks and appearances. Sometimes when Moms and teens argue, words can get out of hand. So I guess I should ask, was that the only disapraging thing she ever said to you, and how are things with your Mom, now that you are 21? Is there any other comparisons made now, anything that pertains to jealousy on her part? If not, why do you want to keep dwelling on this and make this a huge problem with Mom? If all is well, now and you are both getting along...at 21 years of age and being an adult now, you should rationalize it out and be able to let it go. Remember, Mom's are human too and raising kids ain't easy. Sometimes in the heat of a moment, especially arguing with a 13 year old teenager, hurtful things we regret do slip out of our mouths. If you are happy with your appearance and you like who you are as a person...don't be upset if others don't validate you. That job is yours..to keep yourself content and happy. No one else's. Time to move on and develop yourself in a strong, good way that you don't need so much approval from others, If you aren't doing this at this age, then you have deep insecurity issues that should be addressed and this problem, doesn't involve Mom. Good luck.
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female
reader, pebble +, writes (7 June 2009):
It's always much easier to remember the bad stuff that people say over the good stuff. The horrid stuff sticks in your head for a terribly long time.
I don't think what she says implies that she's jealous of you. Has she ever given you any other signs that she might be jealous? I don't think this one thing is enough to go on.
People say things when they're angry that they don't mean. I'm sure you've said lots of hurtful things to your mom as you've been growing up that you didn't mean. Everyone does, it's part of being a teenager.
If there have never been any other incidents where truly awful things have been said or done then you should stop living in the past, move forward and put it down to spur of the moment anger. If you know better than what she said then there's no problem.
If there's more to it however then it's a different story...
Good luck.
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female
reader, Full moon temptress1 +, writes (7 June 2009):
I can tell you i would never call my daughter ugly,whether she ment inside,outside or up side down.Was this a one off incident?I would maybe tackle your mom on this.Go out to lunch with her and ask her if she remebers it.If this is still bothering you now you need to get it sorted.Good luck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2009): There's no way to know what is going on in your mom's head without her telling you.
I suppose it's possible for a mother to be jealous of her daughter, or feel threatened by them, but maybe she meant to imply that you were ugly on the inside? Maybe something you did or said seemed ugly to her? Maybe she was very disappointed in you for something?
It's hard to say. Even if your mom does have issues, then those are her issues to deal with. If you feel like you are not ugly and are happy with that, I would let a comment said in anger years ago slide...
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