A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am 62 years old, my partner is 40. I am tired, she wants to party. I understand that, I was there. WE ARE GAY. My mind still wants sex, but my body says no. I am scared of the future. Help me. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): You are not old. I think you are feeling the age difference mentally and it is making your body feel older or tired. You are clearly in love otherwise you would not be worried about how things are. You need to talk things through and I would suggest completely re-vamping yourself - diet, activity levels, clothes, sexual creativity, education or hobbies - the lot. Only you can make yourself really feel like a new woman. Look.... we only get one crack at this life - better to burn out, than rust out? Don't throw away what you have.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): Hello! I have just found this site and saw your question--wanted to respond. I am a hetro-sexual female, but I think that questions of the heart cross sexuality lines alone. Your post made me wonder...are you in love with your significant other? And I do not mean the kind of infatuation that comes in the beginning of a new relationship, or what some call being "in love" from some sort of psychological need that demands another be in their life...I mean, do you love this person, their spirit? their mind? your life with them... If you are in that kind of love, then make it work. Because that kind of love doesn't come along everyday.
Your loss of libido due to age, maybe exhaustion, maybe stress or illness (you don't specify) does not have to be permanent. Actually, hormonal supplements (a little testosterone or similar) may rejuvinate your sexualality quite a bit. A good endocrinologist could tailor a plan based on any slight deficiencies that would really put you back in the ballpark.
I wanted to write because I anticipated that some people are going to say that it is the age difference that has resulted in your problem.
And that is a factor here...can't be dismissed. I'm guessing you question yourself sometimes...about the age difference and if it is the culprit here... perhaps you or your partner question whether you would be happier with someone closer to your biological age.
But, if this is love--that deep passionate, eternal, never-ending love, then I hope you will take what steps you need to hold on to it. Get medical advice. If you are overly stressed, take steps to reduce that stress.
I am a 43 year old female and my 64 year old spouse died a little over one year ago due to prostate cancer.
We never divorced, but we actually separated over sexual issues--my libido versus his lack of one was a major culprit. We never stopped loving each other or grieving over the demise of our relationship. The Christmas before last, a few months before he died, I was with him in his home. We cried like babies for how stupid we had been--to let issues like libido get in the way of the type of love that could never be replaced. I loved him with all my heart, and still do, and did not realize until too late that love like that--well, it can't be replaced. His last words to me were "Merry Christmas" ... and I can still hear those words, see his tear streaked face as he said them...and the way he said them...I think he knew it would be the last time/thing he would ever say to me.
I did see him again, just after he died...and I don't blame you if you don't believe me because there is good reason to doubt and it sounds insane, I know,--but we had both pledged a long time ago that whoever went first--they would try to communicate with the other--to let them know that they are alright--to give them some "evidence" if you will, that there really is something (as we hoped for) on the other side.
And I saw him..wans't expecting it...just suddenly in a bright light that was shining through the window one day--he looked--well--he looked well again...he was smiling...but I blinked and that image was gone. I was never given another opportunity to see him -- (Damn! that I blinked!)
I'm in a new relationship and I love my partner but it is not the deep eternal everlasting soul clutching type of love that I had. I've realized that maybe not everyone gets that chance..to have that..and if you find it, you're a da*n fool to let it go.
So, when I read your post...about the problems...wanted to share mine. And I wondered...Are you in love? Is it strong, and deep, and soul-clutching? Then, I urge you to hold on. Find out how to strengthen your body.
The spirit and true love knows no age.
But, if it is not that kind of love...if it is the ordinary, garden variety that we so often call "love"...the kind we get comfortable with because it is often "good" and its "comfortable", but then again, we know in our heartgs that it could be replaced, then I'm thinking maybe you should consider letting this go..and find the eternal kind.
Peace
...............................
A
female
reader, shaniquas3 +, writes (5 June 2009):
you only have one life!!!!!!!go for it. when u drop dead that is when it is time for you to stp gettin it on!!!if u have the feeling u cant leave it unanswered or its gonna build up inside and explode and ur gonna do it anyways!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): Hello! I have just found this site and saw your question--wanted to respond. I am a hetro-sexual female, but I think that questions of the heart cross sexuality lines alone. Your post made me wonder...are you in love with your significant other? And I do not mean the kind of infatuation that comes in the beginning of a new relationship, or what some call being "in love" from some sort of psychological need that demands another be in their life...I mean, do you love this person, their spirit? their mind? your life with them... If you are in that kind of love, then make it work. Because that kind of love doesn't come along everyday.
Your loss of libido due to age, maybe exhaustion, maybe stress or illness (you don't specify) does not have to be permanent. Actually, hormonal supplements (a little testosterone or similar) may rejuvinate your sexualality quite a bit. A good endocrinologist could tailor a plan based on any slight deficiencies that would really put you back in the ballpark.
I wanted to write because I anticipated that some people are going to say that it is the age difference that has resulted in your problem.
And that is a factor here...can't be dismissed. I'm guessing you question yourself sometimes...about the age difference and if it is the culprit here... perhaps you or your partner question whether you would be happier with someone closer to your biological age.
But, if this is love--that deep passionate, eternal, never-ending love, then I hope you will take what steps you need to hold on to it. Get medical advice. If you are overly stressed, take steps to reduce that stress.
I am a 43 year old female and my 64 year old spouse died a little over one year ago due to prostate cancer.
We never divorced, but we actually separated over sexual issues--my libido versus his lack of one was a major culprit. We never stopped loving each other or grieving over the demise of our relationship. The Christmas before last, a few months before he died, I was with him in his home. We cried like babies for how stupid we had been--to let issues like libido get in the way of the type of love that could never be replaced. I loved him with all my heart, and still do, and did not realize until too late that love like that--well, it can't be replaced. His last words to me were "Merry Christmas" ... and I can still hear those words, see his tear streaked face as he said them...and the way he said them...I think he knew it would be the last time/thing he would ever say to me.
I did see him again, just after he died...and I don't blame you if you don't believe me because there is good reason to doubt and it sounds insane, I know,--but we had both pledged a long time ago that whoever went first--they would try to communicate with the other--to let them know that they are alright--to give them some "evidence" if you will, that there really is something (as we hoped for) on the other side.
And I saw him..wans't expecting it...just suddenly in a bright light that was shining through the window one day--he looked--well--he looked well again...he was smiling...but I blinked and that image was gone. I was never given another opportunity to see him -- (Damn! that I blinked!)
I'm in a new relationship and I love my partner but it is not the deep eternal everlasting soul clutching type of love that I had. I've realized that maybe not everyone gets that chance..to have that..and if you find it, you're a da*n fool to let it go.
So, when I read your post...about the problems...wanted to share mine. And I wondered...Are you in love? Is it strong, and deep, and soul-clutching? Then, I urge you to hold on. Find out how to strengthen your body.
The spirit and true love knows no age.
But, if it is not that kind of love...if it is the ordinary, garden variety that we so often call "love"...the kind we get comfortable with because it is often "good" and its "comfortable", but then again, we know in our heartgs that it could be replaced, then I'm thinking maybe you should consider letting this go..and find the eternal kind.
Peace
...............................
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