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My love for her burns away at my inner self. What can I do?

Tagged as: Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 November 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 2 December 2007)
A female India age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm in this really tough problem of forbidden love. I'm a girl of 15, and I love this female married (with a child, too) Maths teacher at my school. She's hardly about 38. I know it's not a crush, because she's not taught me for nearly three years, I've not talked to her for 2 years, but still I feel the love for her. I first fell in love with her 4 years ago. But homosexuality and love of different ages are quiet taboo out here. She's never really shown anything special to me, except on a few occassions that readily can be explained away as her gentle and kind nature. I even gave her some gifts on her birthdays for the last three years, and she was really happy for them. It's not really like I want to have her, I just want her to be happy.

I don't believe in the institution of marriage, so it doesn't really bother me if she's married or not. But I heard someone say that it hurts most if the person you love has no idea of your feelings. I really want her to know, I don't know what the outcome will be, but I want her to know this situation. Now we don't meet nearly at all, I just sometimes watch her from afar, I doubt if she even remembers me, and my parents would surely turn me out of the house if I hinted at any sort of forbidden love.

I can't confide in a psychiatrist, cause I don't have independent money. I can't even tell these to any friends, because I don't have any trusted friends. People call me a genius at school, and out of inferiority complex, most keep away, and I don't have any trusted friends. So what do I do? Her love burns me night and day. I want to get at some end. Please, someone help.

View related questions: crush, fell in love, money

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks a lot, to both of the two who answered. For the last anonymous replier, I'd like to clarify my stand about marriage. I never meant that I want to cross the laws of marriage and hurt someone I care about. I just meant that by the name of the laws of marriages, lot of things I don't support go on - forcing two people together even if they don't love each other, separating two people just because maybe their sexes are same or ethnicity don't match, domination in the name of being a spouse, sponging off people because you do them the grace of marrying their daughter, domestic abuse... these all go with the less than fullproof marriage laws and that's why I don't support marriage and its misusers. What I meant, if fully clarified is that I do not care if this teacher is married or not - I was wondering whether to tell her or not, and just because she's married won't deter me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007):

this sounds like such a immature response to your question, but honestly the best way is to REBOUND. if anything join a dating hotline, just rebound to anyone easy so you can get over her. honestly, it will help a bit. just keep trying to move on. it sucks, but it will put you in a better sitation than you are in right now, because i think you are limiting your love life b/c of her.

any other questions, just pm me.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007):

Quite simple really.

Find someone else. You never will if all you do is pine over a teacher, of all things, that in no way shape or form could you ever even touch.

So find someone around you're own age and just let yourself live.

And you may not like it now... but marriage is a wonderful thing and you would be a scummy, revolting person if you chose to interfere in a marriage.

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