A
female
age
30-35,
*ts9290
writes:Hello all! Let's see if I can sum this up and make it short and sweet and to the point. I am 22 and my boyfriend is 23. We have been together for 7 years. I am ready to take the relationship to the next step. Unfortuntely, because of financial reasons, we cannot afford to move in together. Yet, I still have no promise ring and, therefore, definitely no engagement ring. How long do I wait? It's been 7 years and I've brought up promise rings many a time. At this point, if he does get me one, I feel like he's only getting me it because I've nagged him about it. Do I just keep waiting and stop bringing it up? Help!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 February 2013):
 Ah young love…
Ah young love in an LDR… not so nice.
I’m sorry to say this but you will not be getting any sort of ring from this boy/man. If he wanted you to have a ring he would have gotten it for you. And a “promise ring” is for teenagers… I got one at 16 from my then boyfriend… a very small diamond chip…. Guess what, I still broke up with him at 18…
A ring won’t change anything honey…
You say you can’t afford to move in together… well are you both still in school? IF not, what financial hardship could there be… yes LDRs cost more money but after 7 years and now you are adults, it’s time to end the LDR….
NOT ending the LDR at this point is akin to hiding from real life.
How long do you wait. About a week. You call him and say “we need to end this LDR within 6 months or it’s over” and plans need to start ASAP for one of you to move to the other or for both of you to meet in the middle somewhere and start your life.
I'm starting to see lots of long term LDRs for younger people that I think are being used to avoid really living and risk getting hurt....
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 February 2013):
 i think you've waited long enough. Chalk this up to an event that won't happen.....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts  +, writes (11 February 2013):
 *consumerism
my bad
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A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts +, writes (11 February 2013):
Um, what's a promise ring? Is it really necessary to have so many rings? You want a promise ring, then you want an engagement ring and then when you get married, you'll have a wedding ring and then a few years down the track you'll probably get an anniversary ring or ten... I hope you get him just as many rings as well. Guys also like to know they are being splurged on.Anyway, the questions you might like to consider are:1. Why do you need a promise ring other than to tell other people that you are in a monogamous relationship? I mean, you and your boyfriend know you are in a monogamous relationship (it's been 7 years...), how is getting a ring going to change that? If you don't have a ring, does that mean he is legally able to cheat without consequence?2. If you guys can't afford to move in together, then he probably can't afford a promise ring (depending on how much you think it should be worth)3. Why can't you get an engagement ring without a promise ring? In my country, the engagement ring is the first ring (and in a lot of cases, the only ring) to come out in the relationship. Maybe you are succumbing to commercialism?4. Why can't you get him a ring first? You don't need to sit on the fence. Be proactive.5. If you really don't want to do the ring giving first, then just tell him straight out because obviously he hasn't picked up on your hints or he doesn't think a promise ring is necessary. Just say "I won't move in with you till I get a ring.", as strange as that will sound in a loving relationship.
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