A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband is in his late 50's.The other day we were both at the mall shopping and he had his cell phone with him. I was in another area of the store shopping and we set a designated time and place to meet to allow us each enough time to shop.When we got back home I noticed he forgot to turn his cell phone off so when I went to turn it off I noticed he had been looking at the pictures he had taken and they were pictures of women at the mall standing, sitting and a majority of them were pictures of their a$$es or bending over. There wasn't any upskirt shots, but it was like he was walking behind them and snapping their lower body parts without them knowing and without their consent.I'm fuming. Should I send him packing? I'm so upset that I want to "expose" him and have the police throw him in jail for doing this.This has made me physically ill. I never would have suspected that he would do such a thing. He is such a nice guy so this has thrown me off balance.I don't think I can forgive this. It makes me wonder what else he has going on, like on his computer. I don't want to look like the fool but I don't want to be married to some closet pervert either.I find it all very disturbing and unsettling.
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female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (14 September 2012):
While he took semi-innapropriate pictures without consent, there is a good possibility that the police will not be able to do anything because it happened in a public place. As long as he was not photographing underage girls and teens...they probably won't investigate.
If this behavior is a very recent development, he NEEDS to see a doctor. A sudden change in sexual behavior could indicate an age-related medical problem that needs to be addressed sooner rater than later. Because of this, I think you should talk to him about it. Ask him why he felt he needed to do such a thing in a public place. Tell him how humiliated his objectification of other women makes you feel. Tell him you need to know why, whether this is a new thing for him, etc.
Before you talk to him, you may want to ask yourself a few questions:
How was your relationship before this happened?
Do you express affection for one another?
Are you still intimate?
Could he be trying to substitute these pictures for something that is lacking in your relationship?
If your relationship has been waning up to this point, and you would like to try and improve things, please talk to him about seeing a relationship/marriage counselor and try to go together.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2012): guys are stupid, it could very well have just been a bit of fun and not realising oggling to such an extend is very distasteful. I'd not dump him straight out but i'd talk to him about it and also be on the look out for other warning signs just in case.
You didn't mention how long you had been married? And other than this incident, has he always been kind, loving and respectful to all?? I'd look seriously at his good points and try to understand if it was just a stupid one time thing. If you don't feel you can forgive it or have other reasons to walk from him, then that is your choice. You have to feel comfortable with the person you are with.
Not sure the police could do much to be honest
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