A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Yesterday (Xmas Day) I spent alone with my husband - we had decided to avoid family pressures and have a quiet time. My husband woke in a terrible mood and this did not improve all morning despite the lovely breakfast I prepared and I gave thoughtful presents. After a walk in the morning we came back and he just took over preparation of lunch - almost bullied me out the kitchen - I was so upset. I often feel that he takes over lots of things and that I can't be myself in my own home. He made me feel useless and I had wanted to make a nice meal for us - just enjoy the day. After lunch I was tired from the day and, like many people, fell asleep in front of the TV. I woke up to find my husband not there. I went upstairs and caught him looking at porn on the internet. I went mad at him. It was not the fact of the porn but the fact he sneaked off on Christmas Day of all days to do that in our home. I feel so hurt. The argument turned nasty and he said some terrible things to me - that he couldn't stand the way I looked and I was unfit and made no effort what was the point I was a mutant. I am none of those things. I felt so worthless and insignificant on Christmas Day. I feel like I just can't get over it - how could he be so cruel? I don't know what to do next.
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female
reader, goofy_prisoner  +, writes (26 December 2007):
 spot on baby duck. i agree with you.
A
female
reader, baby duck + ♥, writes (26 December 2007):
 Yes, you do know what to do next.
He is a miserable human being and he is taking it out on you.
You have two choices, cupcake: stay and finish a miserable life with him or cut your losses and have hope for a happy, peaceful future.
You have said enough for me to know that he has no intention of ever working WITH you to create a loving relationship. He thinks that if you would just do things his way, all would be well, but people like that have always been and will always be miserable sots.
Your choices are simple, but not easy. They are your choices. You can get temporary comfort here or you can make the kinds of empowering choices to give you hope for your future.
Best wishes.
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