A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Am I a foolHe has left me after 20 years of marriage He know he has been treating the family badly He said he still love will look after us I will never be aloneBut need to be by him self Every one is in shock He away told every one how much he loves meI thing he has depression which he agrees but no getting helpHe told me he need me not to wait he doesn't know how long it will take What do I do Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 March 2016):
 I feel sorry for you and your family. Try and not take it personally, if he has depression, he may feel he has no choice but to be on his own at the moment. As long as you are secure enough to think that he would not harm himself then I think the best thing that you and your family can do is to listen to his request and give him space. Whatever is causing his depression he might need some time to work it out in his head. Off course it is difficult for you as a family to hear, but hopefully he will eventually find what he is looking for.
A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (22 March 2016):
Generally people do not do something of this magnitude without a well thought out exit strategy.
My guess is he is looking elsewhere.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2016): Is he having an affair?
His behaviour is extremely odd...
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue +, writes (22 March 2016):
 Im sorry, that must be tough for you and your family. I guess it would be confusing to hear the words " I still love you, but can't be with you" in the same sentence. What make you think he has depression and that is the cause? Could it be a build up of things that you have not recognised until now? Things that have the potential to turn around if worked on. I believe that it is possible for someone to be by them self if that is what they need in order to sort them selves out but at the same time to just up and leave without a better explanation is not fair either. You cant force someone to stay so giving him space granted you get some answers might just be the thing you need to do at this point.
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A
female
reader, wrathykins  +, writes (22 March 2016):
 If he agrees he has depression but doesn't get help, does he expect it to magically go away?
Depression is a horrible illness that takes sometimes years to get rid of, in some cases not at all, you can only control the symptoms.
If he won't take your advice to go and get help, maybe a family member can talk some sense into him?
Give him space. He says he still loves you. If depression is the reason why he's left, support him in anyway you can when he comes back. But he really needs to get help
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