A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband was masturbated by a very large lady he felt very intimidated by her and said it was totally against his will but could not tell her to go away. he had had a few pints and was quite drunk he has never done anything like this before he felt terrible and told me straight away, has he been unfaithful... How should I feel about this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): He made the decision to get drunk, anything that happens after that is his fault. The number of stories I read or hear of men and women drinking and then regretting having sex with someone are too many to count. Male or female no matter how much alcohol you drink you are still responsible for your actions. It was only rape if he said NO. If he didn't say that then no matter how intimidating the other person was he can't make a claim after the fact.
The fact that he told you right away seems like a sign of true remorse however so if you think you can forgive him this relationship may have a chance. But he should give up alcohol as proof that he doesn't want this to happen again.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): How exactly does a man get forced into getting masterbated by a woman against his will? Where the heck were they at? Was his penis hard? I doubt that if it were totally against his will that he'd have been hard. Why would she even want to masterbate him, it does nothing for her, are you 100% positive that they didn't have sex or he go down on her? I consider this being unfaithful. So what he had a few pints? He really shouldn't be heavily drinking when you're not there anyways. Does he not think you could have told her "I am married, and not going to cheat on my wife, I am sorry" What did he think she was going to eat him or something? What could she have really done to him? It sounds like a cheap excuse to me. Do you know this lady??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): Yeah u-huh. Bullshit. If I had a husband who was intimidated by anyone and the "poor thing" just against his "poor" "defenseless" will got jacked off by a MONSTER who was so intimidating that my "poor defenseless" husband was practically raped by a woman...I would think he was such a PUSSY. I would dump him just for being such a pussy. Actually, I would dump him just for coming up with an excuse that made him seem like such a pussy. Ugh. I mean I would be more forgiving if he said "I was drunk, after ten beers, this woman looked like Cindy Crawford, and I f*cked up. I'm sorry." If he said that to me, I would actually have more respect for him. I don't know how you can stand this guy. I mean tell him to grow some balls and at least come up with something that doesn't make him sound like such a girl. Ugh. But the reality here is that it is ALL A LIE. And such a pathetic lie too. At least he could have come up with something a little more manly. So anyways, YES he was unfaithful and worst of all he is such a girl. Yuck. Dump him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): It is up to you whether you forgive and forget. I don't think i could, but this isn't easy. He will have to stay off the heavy drinking in future. I always know exactly what i am doing, no matter how drunk i have been in the past but we are all different. Work on instinct and if you cannot live your life with this man and what happened then tell him and move on. Sorry, but i do think life is too short to be unhappy and why should you suffer any more. If you can live with this on your mind then try and put it all behind yourselves and move on.
I do hope you manage to come to some sort of an agreement in the future.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT +, writes (13 September 2007):
 Hi hun,This must be really hurting you inside but I have to be honest here all he had to do was say, " NO " having a few pints babes is really no excuse....by telling you has this made him feel better????It is up to you now as to whether you can for get this and completly trust him when he goes out.......Only you know how you really feel inside, if you love him then a relationship does have to be worked on and you do need to let him know that is is also built on trust once this is lost it is hard to regain......I hope you manage to sort this out hun,Good luck babes and hope this has helped you in some wayDonna xx
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