A
female
age
36-40,
*eggy2013
writes:My husband get irritated with too many questions. Most of my questions I ask are valid, I feel. Like driving home from town. We live in the country and he has lived here for 40 years and I have been married 5 years. I ask where neighbors land is? or how many acres they own? But we have had some Big blow Ups! Can’t he just say I don’t know.... but instead make me feel like a dick. Guess I should just keep my mouth shut. I’m just tired of always wondering how to not make him angry on any questions. Makes me not want to be around him. He never use to be this way. I guess the honeymoon days are over. Just hard for me to be a sweet loving wife when you feel every time you talk to him he is annoyed of you. Any advice for a ranch wife? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, chrischris2019  +, writes (28 October 2020):
Maybe your husband is depressed. My wife irritates me sometimes with her questions but that is because 50% of the time her ideas are something that is either more work for me or something that costs me money. If you husband is short with you I guess I would avoid asking him anything if it is too much for him to deal with. Maybe he is lost in his thoughts and just doesnèt want to talk.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2020): Maybe it's not your questions per se; but their frequency, or the fact you ask them in close-succession. A string of questions (one behind the other) begins to feel like cross-examination, or an interrogation. Especially, when there's no pause or follow-up with something other you have to say. He hates feeling like every-time you're together there's a pop-quiz or game of trivia! If one question only leads to more questions, that's not a conversation.
Sometimes people get annoyed with idle-conversation. It's pretty obvious when we're simply begging for attention. Sometimes people are in deep concentration; or using a moment of silence for contemplation, introspection, meditation, and just enjoying some peace and quiet. If you habitually chatter nervously; or silence tends to give you an urge to fill it with a question, for no other reason but to break the silence. Then yes, you make people irritated with you. Not just your husband, but almost anybody. How would he know how many acres other people have? Why would he even bother to care?
You may have a pattern of constantly begging him for attention with idle-conversation when he'd just like to quietly enjoy the ride, soak-in the moment, or observe the scenery. Most people raised in the country are pretty easy-going and lay-back folk. The dark-cloud of Covid-19, and the polarization and dissension caused by nasty American-politics; is causing even the nicest of people to be a bit edgy! Being married doesn't mean filling every single moment with chit-chat. There is no love-loss in peace and quiet. That's the benefit of living in the country!
If you're not around kids much; then maybe you don't recall how it feels when you're hit with one question after another, while your mind is on something more important. He says you ask too many questions; but what he may have meant is your timing, or the place you decide you need to start drilling him with your questions. Needing answers for questions he probably wouldn't have reason to know! If you want to start conversation, or break long silences, say something you know would lead to some interesting conversation. Don't always start with a question!
There's a town-clerk's office or town hall to do title and property searches, or for land records. Then there is always Google searches when you really have a hankering for answers and information!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (13 September 2020):
 This is definitely one of those posts where I would love to hear the other side of the story.
Is it (perhaps) that he feels you are always comparing him to others? Or perhaps he feels you are trying to make him feel inferior to others? Or that you are pushing him to get more land? Or perhaps you ask the same questions over and over?
Or maybe he just likes to drive in peace with his thoughts and not have to talk all the time? Or perhaps he is having financial/personal/health issues that are stressing him out? Do you ever ask him how he is feeling? What makes him worry? Have you tried sitting him down when he is relaxed and just asking, "Heh, I feel like you are stressed about something. Is there anything I can help with?"
There is no way any of us can guess what the real problem is here, but they are just a few possibilities.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 September 2020):
 That's one of those questions which are hard to answer when we only have one side of the story. But , generally, there's more than meets the eye.
Of course, the way you describe him, you make him sound like some sort of, not only ill-tempered, but mentally deranged guy who blows up about any normal, innocent, conversational question. And if it were simply like that, you'd have really not much choice, other than either divorcing him , or , as you say, always keeping your mouth shut.
But... it all depends. For instance, you say that your husband never used to be like that, couldn't it be that his being irritable now is due , not precisely to your honeymoon being over, but to his having personal / work / financial problems ? Is he allright, healthwise ? Is he depressed ? Stressed out, worried about something ? Physically exhausted ?... Maybe it's not all about you, and your questions. When people change personality out of the blue... well, it must mean something, and it warrants looking into it. Could you not sit him down and ask him, not how many acres is the neighbours' land, but what happened , if there is anything you can help him with , if he has concerns he wants to share with you...that's what spouses are for, after all.
Another thing is, that we are not able, generally, to assess if and how much we could actually be obnoxious and irritating. I mean, of course one or two questions about banal stuff are Ok... but suppose this is your habit ? that you pepper all the time a long drive, with mundane questions about uninteresting subjects ? .. Some people
( I am not saying you are one , though ) are unable to keep a companionable silence and to just talk when there's actually something to say; they are afraid of silence, they just have to keep the noise going and going all the time, like a crazed radio station, ... and this may become really obnoxious for their partners. Silence is not necessarily bad, - it can be relaxing and intimate , too; don't feel like you °must° make small talk all the time or else. Maybe your husband is not a small talk type of guy , that's all.
Certainly it is not a good feeling to feel that your husband is annoyed at you every time you talk. But if this is the only trouble area in your marriage, ( he is NOT, for instance, also bored with your sex life, or hypercritical about the way you dress / cook / raise your kids etc.etc... )... then the problem is not that the honeymoon is over- rather, that you two haven't learned yet to communicate better, and have not figured out yet what the other likes to talk about, how much and when...
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