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My husband doesn't care for me because I am unemployed!

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Question - (29 October 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 29 October 2012)
A female United States age , *obodycares writes:

My husband doesn't care for me anymore because I am unemployed. I am looking for a job, but we are so far in debt he just blames me for all the financial situation that we are in. I am 59 now and have health issues, so it is hard to find a job, but I am willing. What can I do to have him care for me?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2012):

Change your attitude and your perspective. Take care of yourself. Imagine what you would have to do if your husband wasn't around, and do that. Help take the burden off him. He will love and appreciate this from you. You will renew your self worth and feel better about yourself too. Be the best you can be and the love your husband has for you will return, and he will want to take care of you again.

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (29 October 2012):

AuntyEm agony auntHow did you get into debt? Was it a joint thing or something you alone did?

Your husband is not happy and is full of resentment because he is in a situation he alone cannot fix. I understand you have health issues but even severely disabled people seem to be able to find work, so it is will be your age which holds you back, unless you have some skill or other that you can utilise?

I would like to sit here and say that your husband should love you whatever situation you are in, but money problems is the number one stress factor in any relationship so maybe you could cook up a plan of action to relieve some of the debt. Sell stuff, consult a debt management agency and make every effort to find any kind of work.

I myself have health issues. I have heart problems, for which I had surgery in November last year, I have a curvature of my spine which I take strong pain killers for, am deaf in my right ear and suffer with clinical depression. I also have no husband or partner and I am almost 50, but I work full time..I have to or else I would starve and most likely be sleeping on someone's couch.

Sometimes you just have to push yourself because one way or the other you have to find a solution to save your marriage or find a way to support yourself if he leaves you.

Life is hard and when the going get's tough, you have to prioritise and get moving.

He won't care for you again unless you do that.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2012):

"What can I do to have him care for me?"

Take out a big life insurance policy and then suddenly and unexpectedly drop dead due to a previously undiagnosed congenital (present at birth, lifelong) medical condition sometime between the day after it becomes effective and the day before the second monthly payment is due. You won't be able to appreciate it but believe me, no husband will have ever cried louder and longer at his wife's funeral than yours will have at yours.

In other words, he DOESN'T care for you so there's nothing you can do to "have him care for" you.

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