A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi Agony Aunts and Uncles. My house mate and I are not on speaking terms at the moment because she gave out to me and said something very was inappropriate and wrong about me that I would never agree to. I told her that I didnt know what her opinion was on the matter but it certainly is not mine. The situation is a misinterpretation and I've agreed to that but this girl thinks that I've overreacted to the whole situation but she should jnot have given out to me. I told her at the end of last week that I was dropping it because other people were being affected by our conflict an it wasn't fair on them because I know she'll never apologize. She's one of those people who wont admit wrong when at fault and tried to turn it on me saying that I had said something wrong about her and demanded an apology. When corrected she said that I had overeacted to the whole situation and that I had to get over it. I cant look at her in the face now cause I have no respect whatsoever for her. She does nothng for no one is completely selfish. Today my other housemates said that I should break the barrier and invite her for something but I dont want to have aything to do with her. She hasn't made any efforts. I've asked them to invite her out this past week because it's awkward for me to do it because they wouldn't do it. She always turns them down. So my question is how do I overcome this situation? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 March 2014):
 I realize that mine is probably a lame advice, but... do you HAVE to overcome it ?
I mean, she did something that, in good faith, you think is wrong. You think you have been offended and / or boundaries have been crossed, and you require an apology, which though is not coming.
She ( let's give her the benefit of doubt ) is in good faith too, feels you have overreactd and handled the situation improperly, and feels that YOU should apologize to her, which you don't want to do.
You are at a stalemate.
At this point , I think the only solutions would be : 1) you accept that you can't MAKE her do what you want ( apologize, admit she was in the wrong, etc ). Decide that for you it's more important getting along than being right, so YOU offer her your apologies , if not for what reaction was, if you think it was legitimate, for having created/ fueled a climate of tension and coldness in the house
OR
2) agree to disagree and go about your business as usual. You can't be friends with everybody, and as long as you can keep it nominally civil, probably it's not a big deal. I mean, you should still be able to ask her " pass me the salt " and get a polite answer, or viceversa, and unless she was your best buddy before, which you don't mention, don't sweat it, she is just a housemate, you don't need to be two peas in a pod, just to act civilly around each other.
|
