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My girlfriend's mother seemed to like me but has suddenly changed her mind

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 December 2013) 2 Answers - (Newest, 29 December 2013)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Hi everyone. I have a dilemma that I need a little help with. I have been in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend for just over 7 months and we are both 20.

I have stayed at her moms house (she still lives with her mom)a few times before which wasn't an issue but now suddenly her mom doesn't want me to stay although everything was fine the last time I spoke to her and I haven't done anything to annoy her. I know that her mom is still coming to terms with the fact that my girlfriend is gay but she seemed to like me and was happy for me to stay.

My girlfriend and her mom are really close and if her mom isn't happy with something, my girlfriend will listen to her which is a worry because we were planning to go to a lakeside log cabin in the summer but her mom most likely won't allow it. I want my girlfriends mom to like me and trust me because this is really upsetting my girlfriend and myself.

I was wondering if anyone could maybe give me any possible reasons why her mom suddenly changed and advice on how to combat this dilemma would be very much appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

View related questions: long distance

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2013):

Your gfs mother is overprotective of her, she needs to let go and let her ADULT daughter live her own life.

Wont "let" her go to a cabin with you? your gf is 20 not 15. She is an ADULT who can make her own decisions...

I don't mean to be harsh but your gf need to grow up a bit and live her own life! do what she wants and not let her mother decide things for her, she is an adult. I now she respects her mother and mother is finding it hard that her child is gay,and an adult, but.. if she loves your gf she will let her be an adult and live her life. Again your gf is not 15, she doesnt need her mothers approval or permission.

She values her advice, which is good, but... there comes a time when you just have to be a grown up.

I would also sit down with her mother, sometime when she is in a good mood and will listen, keep it light and non formal, mention to her that you want to go away in the summer, and say that you love your gf and mean her no harm.

and yes I agree with the other poster, she is a "mothers girl" is she really adult enough for a mature r/ship,? or does she need "mothers permission" for everything.?

It sounds like you may always be waiting for "mommys permission" do you need that or can yr gf be an adult?

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (29 December 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntI suggest a pow-wow of the three of you.... STARTING with a "warm up" meeting with your G/F to see if it's really necessary to include her Mother in a subsequent meeting...

Good luck....

P.S. If'n your's was a "girlfriend/boyfriend" situation, and your G/F were the BOYfriend .... wouldn't we (all) be asking if he isn't too much of a "Momma's boy" to be ready for a REAL adult, independent, relationship????

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