A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend of a year just found out I was on probation. Shes mad I didn't tell her. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, penta +, writes (27 August 2007):
 I notice that all the other answers are from men, so let me answer as a woman. I would be mad too; really mad. A whole year and you didn't let her know about something that's that important? You're supposed to be able to talk with your partner, and here is proof that you didn't feel you could talk to her. That you didn't trust her enough to share. And if I were her, my next question would be "and what else don't I know? Is something going to come out tomorrow and the next day? How well do I really know this guy? Is the next secret going to be worse than this one?"
Here's your one chance. Sit down with her and be brutally frank. Tell her everything. And I mean everything. Give her the opportunity to ask ANY QUESTION, and tell her what questions she should ask. Full disclosure is now your only option; it's the only chance you have to keep her from wondering what she's going to find out next.
I like what duce said about "taking your lumps"; it's really your only option now. Otherwise she's never going to trust you again. (Well, I wouldn't.) There's a trust issue here, and if you want her trust you're going to have to trust her enough to let her in on your life.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, duce00 +, writes (26 August 2007):
 Hmmmm...you didnt say what you were on probation for. This avoiding the truth thing is a real problem for you isnt it?OK, so if your on probation for dealing drugs and running prostitutes your problem with your girlfriend is kinda minor. You will need to deal with bigger issues and get yourself right if thats the case.On the other hand, if you got a DUI because you were being stupid one night and you wish you could take it back thats different. Take a deep breath let her know the truth and as another guy on here put it "take your lumps".Sorry if Im being a little sarcastic here but you asked a question about disclosure and being truthful yet provided only vague information. You will probably find that alot of people in life will have this kind of reaction to you if you dont stand up and take credit for your actions in the light of day, be they good or bad. Allways remember, its better to be disliked for who you are than liked for who you arnt.
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A
male
reader, daglish  +, writes (26 August 2007):
 At some point in life everyone is supposed to pay for a lie he/she told coz truth is never coloured. If u lied to her abt it b4, she's got the right to be angry but if she's just angry at the mere fact that u are on probation then you should start to ask yourself in what true context this chic loves you?
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A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (26 August 2007):
 Tell her you didn't want her to know that you had a past record, that you were ashamed of it and that you thought it might affect her decision to be with you. Apologize, for not trusting her, and breaking her trust for you. She's going to wonder what else you haven't told her. You as a boyfriend are a risky endeavor now. Give her time to think about it. If you love her, take your medicine. Tell her the truth from now on and be honest with yourself and her.
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (26 August 2007):
I don't think there is much to do except ride it out.
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