A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend is very needy and controlling. She expects me to check in with her whenever I go out without her and often expects me to do the things and activities she wants to do. When I want to something on my own she always tries to prevent or guilt me into doing what she wants to do instead. We have been living together for 2 years. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2011): tell her that if she doesn't get a grip and become more normal and less controlling and neurotic, you will leave the relationship. Tell her bluntly how you feel, how much it's driving you crazy and that you can't take it anymore.And if this isn't enough of a wake up call to her, if she doesn't change, then you need to leave the relationship for your own sanity before it strangles you so much that you regret ever having gotten involved with her.this kind of neediness and controllingness only gets worse over time unless the needy/controlling person recognizes that they have a problem and are actively trying to change themselves for the better. But she won't feel a need to try to change if you continue to give in to her because then she's still getting what she wants. That's why you have to leave her, because that may be the only solution.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2011): Ummm... living together... for 2 years? Check in with her when you go out without her and compromise on activities she likes. Communicate with her so she also compromises in activities you like. It is what being in a relationship is all about!
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