A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend is 42 and I m 38. We have been having a long distance relationship for 5 months. I visit her every other weekend and on the whole it is great. However, she can be incredibly blunt and moody with me even if something that has annoyed her is not connected with me. It seems she can be civil and nice to work colleagues at these times but I get the brunt of it. To be honest I am not sure if I can take much more of walking on eggshells, which I feel I have to do with her. If I mention how I feel about how she is acting she throws in my face how devoted she has been and that she couldn't put anymore into our relationship. Sometimes I feel I get a very hard deal with her. For example, I was being very loving and sensual in bed the other weekend and she got all snappy with me because she said 'it was going on forever and nothing was happening', which made me feel horrible and unwanted. Today she went through a red light on the way to work and has been in a mood about it all day which I can understand to an extent, I have been supportive but she has just been very off with me but told me she has been chatting to work colleagues as normal which makes me wonder why I put up with it! Should I move on and forget about her as I am beginning to think it won't change and I'll end up very miserable?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo update: I am very encouraged by people who seem to agree that the problem is her not me, sometimes I search and think m'maybe it's me'. Just to convince me, even today she has been battling with some hard coursework and was on her way to see her friend this evening. She phoned me and I asked her about how it went today. She got all stroppy in her tone saying things like 'As I told you before...'. I said there was no need to snap as I was only asking because I am interested. Of course she turned this around to me being off with her, once again telling me how much she puts into our relationship. She seems to like to remind me how much she does for me all the time!I think I seriously need to get out of this situation as she is also egotistical beyond belief. I spent 4 years studying a degree from home for her to turn around and say 'Degrees are ten a penny, I could do one of those easily in 3 years and hold down a full time job' and that I don't realise how difficult her job is and that there aren't many people who could do her job!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): Something's not right with her, but no one can diagnose her from here... she's got some kind of issue (disorder?) and is puking up on you when ever she can't deal with things.Sometimes people with certain disorders (these can be minor, or major) can't communicate as they get so spun up they cease to be present. Read up on Borderline personality disorder (BPD) and see if any of this fits. My ex had a mild version of this at first (years) then blossomed into full blown, to the point where she left to chase a dream... thank GOD!
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A
male
reader, shawncaff  +, writes (5 March 2011):
 'it was going on forever and nothing was happening'
Ouch! Yeah, that is beyond being moody or blunt--that is being very insensitive and self-centered. Honesty in relationships is good, but it's got to be balanced with respect. She can't use you as a whipping boy to just spill out everything on you when she is upset.
I agree with the first poster: have a talk about this with her. If it does not change then I would break it off while it;s still in the early stages.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (5 March 2011):
 When a relationship is fresh and people could only see each other once a week, they would cherish the time together and present their best selves. Guys pull away constantly, without any clear reason, but you do here. I believe you are putting up with too much. If you see her moody side that soon I would suspect that's her real personality. Her age, emotional maturity and her experiences with men should have told her her snappy ways turn men off. I don't believe it's a case of early menopause (it could be). A woman is always affected by her hormones at any age. You said on the whole it's great. That overall great could be greater if it was someone else with a sweeter nature.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): I would have a talk with her about all of this and how difficult and hurtful this is for you. You need to both work on this together and she needs to start to change those behaviors for you to continue on in the relationship. There may be things you need to change also. Good luck.
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